25 Reasons That Prove Why Marga Is Secretly Our Long Term Boyfriend

It is no secret that at 25 years of age, our dear friend, Marga, is single, but really... she isn't.

Looking at this face, it is less a secret than it is a travesty! Who wouldn’t want to be with a gorgeous woman like her?!

The ONE she wanted got away!

There are many reasons for this single-ness, of course. The first and seemingly obvious: Patrick Garcia is happily married, and with child(ren) now. He’s obviously not the ONE for her since he is taken, except Marga would beg to differ, even a decade later).

The OTHER ONE got away, too! :-(

Another plausible reason: Michael Jackson is now moonwalking his way across heaven, and sadly, Marga cannot be his next baby mommy. She can’t hold out for him anymore either.

But now is the time to reveal the true, uncontestable fact...

the main reason that explains why Marga is still without a boyfriend. Because she is—cue mindfreak here—NOT SINGLE AFTER ALL.

SHE'S BEEN OUR BOYFRIEND SINCE FOREVER (she just didn't know it).

WE GOTS PROOF, YO. (And yeah, good luck breaking up with us. Never gonna happen. You’re the best boyfriend we ever had.)

1. We’ve known each other practically since we could walk...

(and spend weekends ice skating and picking up germs from Kids At Work). And you know what they say about first love…

2. It’s the kind that makes us do crazy shit...

like conspire with her parents to surprise her with a week-long trip to Iloilo and Boracay, wherein we memorably (or not) get drunk on Long Island Iced Tea (suffice to say we’ve never ordered that drink of the devil again).

3. So batshit bonkers were we for Marga...

that we let her do crazy shit to us growing up: “teach” us how to dive into the pool, for example, which only resulted in a terrible belly flop that reverberated throughout the house. But she never laughed at us (or she did, but we blocked it from our memories along with the pain).

4. Fast forward to college...

and on some days we’d choose to cut our afternoon classes and do absolutely nothing. Quality Time at it’s finest!

5. Sleepovers are never really ever just sleepovers.

Every time we’re done with our bonding and decide to “sleep” we always end up having a new topic to talk about and end up not sleeping at all. Oh, young love and their endless nights!

6. And speaking of sleeping...

to sleep beside Marga is to sleep on a space approximately 8 inches wide. But we don’t mind. All the better to snuggle with her!

7. The times we do sleep anyway. Never fear being alone at 3 am because Marga, an insomniac til the end, will always be there to pick up the phone.

Whether it be because we're heartbroken, pissed off, kilig or saw/heard something on the internet that we just desperately HAD TO share at 3 in the fucking morning. Seriously, who else can you count on at that ungodly hour?

8. And when Marga is stressed, we’d gladly offer anything

—even our body parts—if it meant she could release some of it. We’re willing to include our chin in our will, as she requested, if it makes her happy.

9. We can spend hours in the bathroom doing crazy photo shoots...

...photoshoots in the bathroom, on the street, in a bus stop...

10. We don’t mind looking at her gross wounds...

and even help her clean them without an ounce of diri. In return, she also minds our odd pigsa in the batok here and there without a complaint…

11. Since we’re getting physical: SNORT! FART! LOL!

It’s a privilege to hear us snort (or fart) because it means you’re among the few who can make us laugh enough to snort—and yeah, we’re comfy enough with to let one rip.

12. Plus more on bodily functions...

We have an open door policy for pooping and showering, for crying out loud! If that doesn’t spell “LTR” to you…

13. The longer you are with someone, the more comfy you get

—that means not having any hiya factor when we eat at each other’s houses. Kung mahiya ka, walang matitirang pagkain para sayo! Galit galit muna!

14. In fact, the true mark of a perfect boyfie (and loyal boy of our dreams) would eat endless meals...

with us without insulting us about the carbs, the fat, and the calories. UNLI CALORIES ARE AWESOME WITH MARGAAAAA

15. Oh, and two words: CARIÑO BRUTAL.

When the world just doesn't get how stubborn we really are, let's face it: WE understand each other (and at times, annoy the shit out of one another). But it’s out of LOOOVE!

16. No matter how separate (and crazy) our lives can get, at the end of the day,

it will always be us, smoking cigarettes in the banyo, recapping what happened and recalling fond (read: facepalm) memories—like DAMN IT! and that night in Grappa’s and Fiamma.

17. Travel is extra fun with Marga. We can walk the entire day just to buy shoes and perfume…

Or walk the entire length of Boracay everyday for three days straight just to see her at her hotel.

18. Marga is also the bestest boyfriend ever because she supports the worst hair choices.

19. She will even drive you there!

to get your hair cut, your nails done, heck, she’ll drive you anywhere—only a long-term boyfriend would do that.

20. She will even create a playlist or mixtape just for our time together in the car...

so we can sing together. DREAM BOYLET ALERT. Sigh.

21. It doesn’t end there: more than driving, she will stick out her neck for you if need be.

Or in this case, stick out her face (and body) on a national magazine jus because we needed a body type model.

22. Oh, and she’s definitely our secret long term boyfriend because she looked like the happiest person on Earth

...opening a freaking CAR ACCESSORY for a past birthday gift. What a dude.

23. The fact that this Buzzfeed article exists is testament to the fact that:

a) We know you all too well...

24. And...

b) We got all giddy and excited just to put it all together as if it’s our first monthsary, when we’ve been together for AGES.

(JUST PUT A RING ON IT ALREADY!)

25. And because you’ve got the best girlfriends ever, the fun doesn’t end here.

We love you to the moon and back (and the lucky idiot who steals you from us better watch his) and we’ll never tire of showing you just how much we do. Give us a call when you’re done reading this!

Happy birthday Margs! Love you!!! <3