1. Like that time Hannah asked Jessa to look out…
4. And when Hannah binged in the middle of the night…
5. …”A” nicknamed her Hefty Hannah, and gave her a slice of reality.
Hannah: “She forgot the ‘h’ in my name again.”
“A”: “Ugh! STUPID AUTOCORRECT!”
6. Then the next day when she was too broke to buy more groceries for eating everything, “A” tried to help her:
But she had to work for it first.
9. …until she physically couldn’t eat anymore.
11. Then there was that time Adam sent Hannah a dick pic…
12. …and “A” shut it down before she could even enjoy it.
Lasagna > Dick pics
14. …then decided not to because she realized “A” is everything she hates…
15. …she got this text from “A” and gave in.
Because she needed the money. She also didn’t want to risk having Hannah squeeze into a body bag and bruise her ego.
16. Do you remember when Shosh was still a virgin and was with this guy?
20. Then there was that time Hannah ruptured her eardrum while shoving a Q-tip too far up her ear.
21. And “A” had to be the bearer of bad news.
22. Remember when Adam was forcing Hannah to exercise with him?
23. Well, “A” helped the girl out and texted him this:
25. But things turned back around REAL QUICK…
“A”: “Again with the autocorrect…I meant *Hannah”
27. …and the deep anxiety took over her sense of judgement.
29. Then there was that time Marnie did this…
30. …and won “A”s attention- and heart.
Note: The deal was to break up her friendship with Hannah so they could be best friends instead.
32. …and made her cry.
34. …then invited her to out to the club.
35. But then Hannah had this revelation:
39. So she snorted coke with Elijah in the bathroom stall.
40. When they came out, they saw this on the mirror.
Wonder who it is…
43. …and Hannah gave in.
“A” wins again. Sorry Hannah.
44. When Jessa shared her deepest darkest secret…
47. …but “A” had the last word.
“A” for effort, Jessa.
48. Then there was that time Shosh opened her mouth.
50. And she bugged out.
We would too if we were you.
51. Then she tried to confide in her boyfriend…
52. …only to get this message soon after.
53. So she told herself:
54. There was that other time that Jessa tried to warn Hannah…
57. So of course, “A” took advantage of the moment and texted her this:
59. Hannah needed to find out, but she didn’t know how to get there.
60. So she asked Adam to give her a ride, but he was busy working out.
61. After his workout, he finally gave her a ride on his bike…
…but Hannah got too scared of the idea of finally meeting “A.”
63. And when she woke up at the hospital, she found this.
Just when we thought things were looking up, we find ourselves back into “who, what, where, when, why” purgatory! Damn you, “A”!!!
64. “A” told the girls that, that was no accident. Hannah was just used as an example to teach the girls to wear their seatbelts.
even on bikes…safety first- because it’s A’s world and their just living in it.
65. Shosh had enough of “A” and decided to stand up for her girls.
66. So she created an online profile to lure “A” in…
68. “A” sent her a picture of herself/himself, but Sosh is too scared and handed it to Jessa instead. (Sosh watches too much “Catfish.”)
69. So Jessa took the phone, telling Sosh:
70. And because she’d never heard of “Catfish,” she looked at A’s picture…
71. …and could only utter four words.
72. Then she showed it to Marnie who said:
How does Marnie already know? Oh right, she’s her BFF…or IS SHE ON THE A-TEAM?!
73. Then they showed Hannah, who was face-timing from the hospital.
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