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    The 19 Stages Of Having The Middle Seat On An Airplane

    A complex cycle of acceptance and denial awaits you.

    1. So what? I've got the middle seat. How bad can it be?

    2. I mean, the flight is only 4 hours and 34 minutes. It will be over before I know it.

    3. Looks like a lot of people have gotten on already. Maybe nobody will sit next to me and I can move to the aisle.

    4. Aisle seat still open - come on and close that main cabin door, baby!

    5. Oh what the hell?! She's letting more people on the plane? Let's go already!

    6. That girl in the white sweater looks nice. Maybe she'll sit next to me. That would be ok.

    7. Oh, Dear God. No. [Praying silently] Maybe he is getting ready to sit down there, and not just resting to catch his breath.

    8. It's official. I have died and gone to Hell. I am being punished for picking up that unclaimed grande pumpkin latte with whip at Starbucks last week when I ordered a tall Americano.

    9. Ok, we're in the air. Four hours, 18 minutes left. Might as well try to grab a nap.

    10. Can't sleep. Four hours, 7 minutes left. Wonder what those jerks up in First Class are doing.

    11. This sucks. Next time I'm springing for first class. How expensive could it be?

    12. Oh, *that* expensive.

    13. Those fools. How could anyone pay that much for a seat? This isn't so bad. Look how happy the people in the complimentary magazine in the seat pocket in front of me are. Maybe I just have a bad attitude. Turning my frown upside down. It's all good.

    14.

    15. Ok, this seriously sucks. Three hours, 46 minutes. I am a loser. I DESERVE the middle seat!

    16. I should have studied harder in school/I will study harder in school.

    17. Oh well. At least I've got this.

    18. Oh good, we're landing! Wow, that time flew by. Holy crap, how did I spend $119 on boosters?