15 Strange Things Runners Do

Running is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma, and covered in Body Glide.

1. Tape their nipples.

See? Even that nice lady is confused.

ID: 1936026

2. Get running-themed tattoos.

What’s wrong with a nice butterfly or Celtic dragon?

ID: 1936023

3. Post race reports on Facebook.

Or worse yet, tell you about every mile of their marathon while you’re trying to eat your lunch from Five Guys.

ID: 1936034

4. Cry at the end of “Prefontaine.”

Sony Pictures Television

And then get upset when people don’t know who Prefontaine is.

ID: 1936065

5. Run Yassos.

Isn’t that a type of frozen yogurt? Is that guy the owner?

ID: 1936108

6. Run fartleks.

What does this even mean? Do we even want to know?

ID: 1936110

7. Run in these things.

Is this a cult?

ID: 1936122

8. And these.

Runners are just messing with everyone, right?

ID: 1936126

9. Drink kale smoothies for breakfast, but finish their run with a few pints at the local pub.

Is beer REALLY “Nature’s perfect recovery drink”?

ID: 1936135

10. Think running a Turkey Trot 5K on Thanksgiving morning is fun.

Watching the Macy’s Parade and eating Grammy’s homemade pumpkin bread is fun.

ID: 1936144

11. Get enraged if you call them a jogger instead of a runner.

What’s the difference?

ID: 1936150

12. Strap these things on their shoes so they can run on snow and ice.

Did God create humans with little sharp teeth on their feet? I didn’t think so.

ID: 1936153

13. Watch marathons on TV.

Was bowling too exciting?

ID: 1936160

14. Strike bizarre poses to make their Garmin pick up a satellite signal.

Everyone (except runners) knows this doesn’t actually work.

ID: 1936370

15. Give directions in running mileage.

“Trader Joe’s is about a 5k that way.”

ID: 1936055

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