2. Get running-themed tattoos.
What’s wrong with a nice butterfly or Celtic dragon?
3. Post race reports on Facebook.
Or worse yet, tell you about every mile of their marathon while you’re trying to eat your lunch from Five Guys.
4. Cry at the end of “Prefontaine.”
And then get upset when people don’t know who Prefontaine is.
5. Run Yassos.
Isn’t that a type of frozen yogurt? Is that guy the owner?
6. Run fartleks.
What does this even mean? Do we even want to know?
9. Drink kale smoothies for breakfast, but finish their run with a few pints at the local pub.
Is beer REALLY “Nature’s perfect recovery drink”?
10. Think running a Turkey Trot 5K on Thanksgiving morning is fun.
Watching the Macy’s Parade and eating Grammy’s homemade pumpkin bread is fun.
11. Get enraged if you call them a jogger instead of a runner.
What’s the difference?
12. Strap these things on their shoes so they can run on snow and ice.
Did God create humans with little sharp teeth on their feet? I didn’t think so.
14. Strike bizarre poses to make their Garmin pick up a satellite signal.
Everyone (except runners) knows this doesn’t actually work.
- The U.S. is investigating how a cargo ship with 33 people on board sank during Hurricane Joaquin. The ship went missing in the Caribbean last week. ›
- Texas carried out its 11th execution of the year on Tuesday — the most of any state — putting to death an inmate who murdered a man over $8. ›
- New York's attorney general has opened an investigation into two popular fantasy sports websites, after employees allegedly used insider information to profit. ›