Unless you are Archer.
Unless you are Archer.
::::Sigh::::: Dexter I still (heart) you!!! Age has done nothing bad to you!!!
Am I the only one who noticed that #31 is totally see through on top and there is major nipple hanging out there?!?!!?
#5 That is a gangster ass band letter you got there!!!
Can someone explain to me when everyone started hating Nickelback and why? I am afraid that I might have missed this movement while in Iraq or some other *exotic* location. I like Nickelback. They are not my number one favorite, but I don’t understand the hate. Please explain…
There is nothing wrong with a Cesar hair cut. If you have the Roman (Italian) curly locks as a man, this haircut is almost the only thing that you can rock. Unless you want to have an afro.
I am a chick and am guilty of half of these… (confusion)
#26 is clearly a dog that has been screwed over by that door before. Smart dog.
#19 Jokes on him, Kim never went to school :-P
By your logic 1+1x1+1 should be 3 and 2+2x2+2 should be 8, then 3+3x3+3 would be 15. Order of operations. However (1+1)x(1+1)=4, (2+2)x(2+2)=16, and (3+3)x(3+3)=36
Oh MAN!!!!! The gif for #4…. That girl wins the internets today!!!! Thank you, Full Body Shave Girl, you nearly made me squirt lemonade out of my nose at my desk!!!
As in your neck will be protected by the hair of your mullet so it will not get tanned, aka “red neck.” “Red Neck” is a derogatory term for country folk who used to work out doors on the farm all day so they would have very tanned necks that would sometimes appear red.
What does a bride get on her wedding night when she marries a Polish man that is long and hard? Her husband’s last name!!!
My favorite reply-all: When someone retires/has a baby/gets married/gets divorced/goes poop/or whatever, and every one has to say congratulations and uses reply-all. I don’t fucking care that you care. Do that shit on your own time.
I have a friend that had #5 happen with a giant 5 pound gummy bear in her back seat. She was more sad that she wasn’t going to be able to eat the gummy bear than upset about fact that it melted all over her back seat.
I am completely blown away at seeing the Seattle Metro Area as #3 on the safe list. I swear I hear a story every other week about a pedestrian getting hit down town. (Although, most of the time it seems that the person getting hit was j-walking and paying more attention to their cell phone than anything else). PUT YOUR PHONE AWAY WHEN YOU ARE WALKING!!!
While I was in the Marine Corps, I threw all of my two roommate’s “unsecured” possessions out of the room down to the ground floor of the barracks. (We lived on the second floor). “Why would I do this?” You may ask. They were complete and utter slobs, and I was done cleaning up after them every fucking day. I mean their shit all over the place to the point where you couldn’t even open the door to the room. Dirty wet underwear just left in the shower. (Who fucking does that?!?!?) Dirty underwear stored under the sink in the bathroom. (Again, WTF!?!) I worked nights and the two of them worked days. I would come home every night sometime between midnight and 6:00 am. If you were to ask them what time I came home, they would never be able to answer the question because I respected the fact that they were sleeping and had to get up at 0500. (That’s 5:00am) However, when they would get up, all the lights were turned on and the radio would be turned up. We had room inspections every Friday morning. So before leaving for work on Thursdays I would pick up all their shit, pile it on their beds, and do all of the cleaning as they could not be trusted with anything other than shoving all of their crap someplace that it could not be seen during the inspection. (Maybe that is where the underwear under the sink came from). I think the straw that might have broken the camels back came shortly after I came home one night after work at about 3:00 am and found some dude’s clothes all over my bed. He was in one of my roommate’s beds. I LOST MY FUCKING MIND that night. There are several people who lived in nearby rooms who can attest to that ass chewing. So yeah, I tossed all of their crap out of the room one day down the to the ground below. This is where it gets really good. I was a Corporal and they were both Lance Corporals (I out-ranked them). So the next morning they went to work and cried to those above us about the incident. That night when I got to work my OIC called me back into his office. I walked in to find just about every Staff NCO in the unit to be standing in this tiny office. Most of the people in the unit knew I was about done with the two of them and were eager to know what I would say. I reported as ordered and was asked if I had indeed done what was reported. (you should have heard all of the giggles coming out of those men, even my OIC couldn’t keep a straight face). I replied, as a matter of fact, that I had thrown all of their shit out of the room. When asked why, I replied because they had disobeyed a direct order from a senior NCO and did not secure all of their belongings. I had figured that since the items were unsecured that they must not be important, so I threw them out. (Oh, the stifled giggles!!!) I then said that next time they would be digging their crap out of the dumpster. I was dismissed and the my two roommates were called in and got the ass chewing of their lives for disobeying a direct order. I also got my own room shortly after.
Now that is what I call a road trip!!!! Time to go to Australia!!!!
My first 4th of July back after Iraq I ended up under a picnic table in tears when the fireworks started and ended up making my friends take me home. I have now been out for 8 years, and 4th of July isn’t as terrifying. Still, though, there are times that I come home from work at night and something will not seem right when I walk in the door. I will then grab a weapon that I keep hidden near the door and will have to clear my entire house (sometimes twice) before I can manage to do anything else. The military spends months and years conditioning us so we will behave a certain way when put in stressful combat type situations. However, we never get any training on how to reintegrate ourselves back into civilian society. Once our time has been paid to the military they kick us to the curb and tell us to have a nice life. But don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change any of the decisions that I have made about serving in the military. I am proud of my service, and it was an honor for me.
I worked in a tanning salon and some dude jacked off while in the tanning bed. Do you want to know how I know he did that? Because I had to scrub his baked on cum off the top part of the tanning bed. Then there was the time that some girl had diarrhea while tanning and couldn’t make it to the bathroom. I know that because she took a shit in the trash can in the tanning room. Those two things happened on the same day.
I heart you Josh Jackson. #teampaceyforever
Okay, this idea is great and all, but how about some instructions on how to get the stuff like sheet music to stick to the tiles. Along with what you are using as a sealer to make sure that drinks are not leaving rings on the paper covered coasters. Also, what are you using on the backs of the coaster so if they slide across your table they are not marking it all up? How was that attached? These are great ideas, but instructions for those of us who are not craft geniuses would be much appreciated.
#6 That guy just caught a foul ball in his beer cup. The ball broke the cup, so he was trying to chug as much of it as he could before it all ended up on the ground. It was actually a pretty epic moment in beer drinking!!!
I agree. The article should have been titled, “30 Horrifying Facts About How Circus Elephants Are Treated.” I was hoping to see something about how clown cars really work…
The numbers of 135 feet tall by 180 feet wide don’t seem right to me. If you look at the pictures and consider that each one of the those evergreen trees is 35-50 feet tall then the slide is much larger then reported here. The local Seattle media outlets have reported that the debris field covers over a square mile. If you would like to help those affected please consider donating to local charities. Also, there has been a registry set up through Toys R Us to replace items that will help to comfort and clothe the children who have lost everything (up to and including their parents) OSO LANDSLIDE CHILDREN Registry #: 53021505. There is a local facility that the items will be shipped to for distribution to those affected.
Admittedly, I do not vacuum as much as I should, or clean my bathroom as often as I should. However, I have a spare bathroom that is reserved for guests that is always sparkly clean, and the only carpet in the house is in my bedroom, which other than the vacuuming thing is immaculate. I even make my bed every day!
#15 We did that to a co-worker, but with lots and lots of Justin Beiber pictures. He doesn’t know it, but he still hasn’t found them all. ;-)
I really didn’t care what the ranking or the content of this article was. I just wanted to get to the bottom to read the comments. *Not Disappointed*
Maybe she can write a good song. The problem is: have you ever heard her sing live, without studio production fixing the fact that she is tone deaf? I just want to rip out my ear drums whenever she sings without the production.
“Wolverine” literally made me LOL. Forks!!!! Thank you!!!
Ask Siri, “Who let the dogs out?” Go ahead, I will wait…
So when he was younger I totally didn’t get why all the girls were in love with him. I just didn’t think he was that good looking. But GAWD DAMN!!!! That man is like a fine wine and is just getting better with age!!!! I think I need a cold shower right now.
#10 the reason that the light wash jean needs to come back!!! I MISS YOU!!
#14 I would look in love just like that puppy if he was holding me that way, too!! HOTTIE!!!
Basically, I am going to go into my bubble an starve myself to death because EVERYTHING out there is bad for me. This article is crap. It’s called moderation, people. Tomorrow there will be an article saying how bad organic shit is for you, and then the day after that it will be that organics are good again. SCREW IT!!! I am eating at McD’s for the rest of my life and just am not going to give a fuck any more.
Dude in the video is cutting those lines like a pro!!! I am thinking he might have done this a few times without the smarties… LOL!
Just saw this and thought it was AWESOME!!!!
I was thinking the same thing!! One of the first rules I was taught was to never put my finger on the trigger until I was ready to shoot.
I am going to go with Stephen Colbert and say that Newark is the worst airport in the U.S.A. (Hopefully, I will get banned from that city, too. Then I will have to tell my boss I can no longer fly through that airport when I have to visit our New Jersey office….)
#9 is the only way to deal with everything else on this list… just saying