Meet Austin, The Greatest Thinker Of Our Time

The meaning of life? No prob, Austin will figure it out.

1. He started out as all cats do, humble and blind.

2. But soon it became apparent that Austin was something to behold.

3. Oh yes, in Austin’s eyes one could see miracles. One could see their own soul reflected back at them.

4. As other kittens idly played with toys, Austin knew he had a higher calling.

5. He examined the world around him from all angles, eager to learn all there was for the universe to give him.

6. In his adolescence, he got really into a fellow moustached thinker, Nietzsche. It happens.

7. He read some Foucault, but couldn’t get into it. Kant was interesting, but just not enough. And then, as a young adult, Austin turned inward, realizing the great mystery for him to solve was, indeed, his own being.

8. He sought out companionship, but no one could engage in debate with him anymore. No cat was on the same level as him intellectually.

9. And then Austin realized he had one true purpose on this earth. One reason for his soul manifesting itself as a mortal feline being…

10. He needs to talk to you about diabeetus.

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