1. *Is in awe of opening statement that you have completely memorized*
2. That opening sequence, though.
3. Like, DAMN.
4. So good.
5. Is Stabler gonna be in this one?
6. Because, if not, I swear to GOD.
7. I swear.
8. God, Olivia is such a badass.
9. I wish I was as fearless as her.
10. No wonder Taylor Swift named her cat Olivia Benson.
11. I wonder if Taylor's cat knows she's got the mind of a super detective.
12. UGH. Who the F is this new guy?
13. Where's Stabler?
14. OK, I'm too invested to turn it off. I'll deal.
15. OMG. The dad totally did it.
16. Look at how mad he's getting.
17. And he's possessive.
18. Wait, who's this creepy fella?
19. Oh shit. There's 30 minutes left in this episode. That can't be the perp.
20. *Waits patiently for plot twist*
21. Someone's always not allowed to do their job because they're stepping on someone else's toes like COME ON LEGAL SYSTEM GET WITH IT WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER! SHARING IS CARING!
22. OK OK OK. I'm calm.
23. One of those badass lady ADAs better come in for the case.
24. Oh damn, Ice-T's throwing shade.
25. Again.
26. And there's that weird old guy with glasses that always says weird things.
27. And, ah, Captain Cragen.
28. And his bossy ass.
29. Olivia is always so perfectly sassy with him.
30. UGH. She'd make such a great mom.
31. UGH. Where is Stabler...?
32. He's so hot.
33. Why are the witnesses always MIA?
34. Or killed?
35. Or liars?
36. Poor, dumb witnesses.
37. I could literally watch this show all day.
38. Which probably kind of makes me a psychopath, because there is a LOT of messed up stuff on this show.
39. Anyway.
40. *SVU trademark noise happens again and suddenly we're in court with nasty defense lawyers*
41. HOW can you believe this dude?!
42. He's smirking. He's OBVIOUSLY LYING!
43. When Olivia cries, I cry.
44. Aannnnddd, oh shit. Another one bites the dust.
45. Do cases really get solved that quickly?
46. Please tell me there's another episode on after this.
47. OMG I HOPE THERE IS ANOTHER ONE AFTER THIS OMGOMGOMOGMG.
48. There's another one.
49. #BLESSED
50. Looks like we're marathoning SVU, self.
51. Again.
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