• 1. Elephants

    Think of Hannibal’s 37 war elephants, because elephants still roll that way. In 2007, a squadron of nearly 40 drunken elephants wreaked havoc on a village in Northeastern India. According to the Associated Press, the belligerents ran amok and uprooted a telephone pole after fueling up on rice beer that wasn’t theirs—that they stole from some villager’s stash. Shady.

  • 2. Capuchin Monkeys

    After figuring out how to trip balls off insects, monkeys in South America are not likely to do anything else. Broken, they get high off insects and see things that don’t exist. According to Animal Planet, these little pricks start trouble with millipedes, which sweat poison—drugs—when they’re pissed off. The monkeys then cover themselves with the poison, which gives them a buzz that makes them hallucinate.

  • 3. Bees

    Similarly to elephants, bees steal and drink alcohol. Scientists say that drunken bees are violence-prone, anti-social and less likely to fly—just like us. Drunken bees have been known to get so hammered that they can no longer do anything but lie down on their backs and put their legs up.

  • 4. Horses

    Experts say horses prefer locoweed to grass because of its bright-green color and unlike cheap grass it never turns brown. Locoweed turns them into crazy horses that move their mouths like Mr. Ed. Those stuck on chronic may eat excessively, resulting in diarrhea and could show signs of depression or paranoia, according to experts.

  • 5. Reindeer

    Red and white like Santas suit, a reindeer’s drug of choice is the Amanita muscaria mushroom—a psychoactive fungus which is also known as the fly agaric. According to experts, shrooming reindeer prance around gaily and feel a sensation of flying while they trip out in the forest. In Northern Europe, humans drink reindeer urine and reindeer drink human urine for even more fun on the psychedelic sleigh. Its the circle of life. Follow McCormicker on Twitter.