The 7 Types Of Players You Meet At Magic: The Gathering Tournaments

Tournament play can be a hive of scum of villainy or the highlight of your weekend. Learn to identify other players and counteract their machinations.

1. The Kid

Via wizards.com

It’s no shame to lose to someone born in the 2000s, but it still stings. There is an equal chance that The Kid is an autodidact who plays Magic like a relentless threshing machine or that they simply have more time on their hands. Console yourself with the fact that you can drink away your woes. They cannot.

2. The Gloat

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Magic is a weirdly personal game in that it is almost exclusively a one on one affair. Like there were rules for dueling in ye olden times, there are rules for dueling in Magic. It is doubtful that Aaron Burr pumped his fist and shouted OH YEAH after plugging Alexander Hamilton. When playing Magic, be Aaron Burr.

Via giphy.com

3. The Stonewall

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Magic is supposed to be a fun, social game but you wouldn’t know it from the way The Stonewall goes about their business. The most information you can get out of them is a cursory grunt and to make eye contact with you would be a capital crime. Playing the Stonewall is about as much fun as playing Solitaire by yourself on a beautiful spring day.

Via giphy.com

4. The Newbie

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Chances are that this person is you or was once you many moons ago. They don’t have the cards memorized, they are a little off on the etiquette and have not figured out the nuances of the game. DO NOT BE A JERK. When confronted with a Newbie, there is a natural inclination to turn into one of the other players on this list. Resist the inclination and help them learn the game. Your karma will be rewarded with a good draw somewhere down the line.

Via giphy.com

5. The Speed Demon

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The Speed Demon is the bane of the new tournament player in that they refuse to announce what they are doing, they just attempt to do it quickly enough to shock and awe you into submission. They announce spells and immediately try and announce the result, tap their fingers impatiently while you take your turn and generally try to rip through a game as quickly as possible. Ignore the blitzkrieg and take your time, chances are your ability to slow down the game will force them into mistakes.

Via giphy.com

6. The Rules Lawyer

Via stuffershack.com

If a game has been invented, then a Rules Lawyer exists for it and Magic is no different. The Rules Lawyer is the Speed Demon’s mortal enemy in that they will dispute anything and everything that happens during the course of a game and slow proceedings to a crawl. Playing the Rules Lawyer is about as much fun as doing your taxes and without the possible reward.

7. The Saint

Via wizards.com

The greatest tournament player is The Saint, who helps out new players and is a joy for experienced player to encounter. The Saint is the person who keeps you coming back to tournaments after an experience with one of the players mentioned above because they always remember that Magic is a GAME and games are meant to be enjoyed. Surprisingly, Saints appear in large frequency at tournaments and should be treated with the utmost courtesy and respect.

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