1. “How to Live in Your Van and Love it”
For people who need instructions on how to be a bum.
2. “My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands”
This led to the equally earth shattering follow-up Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea.
3. “Eat This Book: A Year of Gorging and Glory on the Competitive Eating Circuit”
As told by a survivor.
4. “The Year of Living Biblically: One Man’s Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible”
5. “Just do it: How One Couple Turned Off the TV and Turned On Their Sex Lives for 101 Days”
Please don’t blame your bad sex on tv.
6. “Not Buying It: My Year Without Shopping”
I’m not really sure how this is going to work out, but I don’t really care.
7. “How to Live with an Idiot: Clueless Creatures and the People Who Love Them”
For guidance with a clown lover.
8. “Still Stripping After 25 Years”
I can’t decide which type of long-term stripping would be worse to read about.
9. “A Marriage Made in Heaven, or, Too Tired for an Affair”
10. “Free For All: Oddballs, Geeks, and Gangstas in the Public Library”
How many times do you think he caught students having sex in the stacks?
11. “The Underdog: How I Survived The Most Outlandish Competitions”
The author of this book competed in the armwrestling championships, bullfighting, sumo-wrestling and the Sauna World Championships—that last one might be worth learning about.
14. “Candy and Me”
You will not believe how much candy this woman has consumed.
15. “Snake Hips: Belly Dancing and How I Found True Love”
Heavy metal rocker turned belly dancer!
16. “No Touch Monkey! And Other Travel Lessons Learned Too Late”
Do you really want to know what happend after she touched the monkey?
17. “I Loved, I Lost, I Made Spaghetti”
Getting laid vs. making pasta — no contest, right?
18. “Dirty Laundry: 100 Days in a Zen Monastery”
About cleaning your shirts, pants, and undies.