10 Lethal Plants That Are In Your Backyard Right Now

Your garden is actually a merciless deathtrap. Frolic at your own risk.

There’s no question that plants can be dangerous.

Warner Bros. / Via melrozevamp.tumblr.com

Such as Poison Ivy.

But the scariest and deadliest plants don’t look like this.

(*gagging*)

(AAAAAAAAUUUGGGGHHHH.)

 

They actually kind of look like this.

Aww, pretty!

But don’t be fooled! The most unassuming plants are the most lethal.

Warner Bros. / Via kevin-mal0ne.tumblr.com

Don’t believe me?

1. The deadly nightshade was the inspiration for the nightlock berries in The Hunger Games.

 

Pop the berries in your mouth and death will strike when you lose your voice, won’t be able to breathe, and start having violent convulsions. Imagine, one nom and you’re DEAD.

2. Water hemlock is can be fatally mistaken for parsnips.

A variant of the European hemlock that killed Socrates, water hemlock belongs to the same family as carrots and parsley. Keep it away from your salads, fools.

3. Just touching wolfsbane can kill you by asphyxiation.

The plant contains a truckload of aconitine, a.k.a. the Queen of Poisons, which can stop your lungs and your heart. More like “HUMANSBANE.”

4. Every part of the English yew is an evergreen death sentence.

Except for the red fleshy red bit of the fruit, ingesting the toxic taxine alkaloids in the English yew can cause death. No wonder it’s Lord Voldemort’s wand wood.

5. If a cow eats white snakeroot, the cow’s milk will become poisonous.

In the 1800s, this milk sickness killed a lot of people, including Abraham Lincoln’s mother, Nancy Hanks Lincoln. Sounds like my favorite novel, Love in the Time of Lactose-Intolerance.

6. A bite of the dumb cane plant will paralyze your entire mouth.

Then your throat will close up, effectively choking you to death. DUMB CANE AIN’T SO DUMB.

7. A single castor seed has enough ricin to kill an adult human.

 

The plant and its little red balls of death are kept around for decorative purposes. IN THE SECOND CIRCLE OF HELL.

8. The scopolamine in angel’s trumpets can be turned into a hypnotizing dust.

Martien Uiterweerd / Via Flickr: 35110249@N05

A 2007 documentary called Colombian Devil’s Breath explains how thieves in Colombia used angel’s trumpets to make a zombifying powder that can be blown into victims’ faces. FLOWERY WITCHCRAFT.

9. Oleander is so toxic, even a whiff of its fumes is poisonous.

Burning any part of the oleander plant will release noxious poisons into the air. Smell that? It’s Death, the new fragrance by Nature.

10. Rosary peas are murderous beads full of abrin, a more lethal substance than ricin.

A single rosary pea will tear your body apart from the inside. The name comes from its use as beads for rosaries, so PRAY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Moral of the story: DON’T EAT GODDAMN PLANTS.

Walt Disney Animation / Via weheartit.com

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