Matt M.

If I were ever running for president, I would buy the best hat anyone had ever seen. No one would pay attention when I talked about policies because they would be too focused on my hat. That year, Jane the Hatter would be the new Joe the Plumber or Nascar dad. Chris Matthews would spend a lot of time talking about the importance of the hat vote, Bill O'Reilly would claim I was wearing a socialist hat and Pat Robertson would insist I was actually bald and the hat was covering up the 666 on the top of my head. If I won, during my acceptance speech, I would take off my hat to reveal another, smaller hat that was very similar to the first hat. Then I would give a mediocre speech and everyone would be pretty disappointed.

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