6 Alan Partridge TV Shows That Ought To Exist By Now

Who remembers the classic Alan Partridge scene in which the desperate presenter pitches television ideas to a frosty BBC Executive?

The scene from I’m Alan Partridge marked the start of the presenter’s downfall.

But what if Alan’s TV ideas had actually been commissioned instead of dismissed? We think the world would be a slighter brighter place, with adverts that might look a little like this:

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“I, Alan Partridge, talk to M.E. sufferers about their condition. We intersperse with their favourite pop songs, make it lighthearted, give them a platform. You’ve got to keep the energy up…”

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“Monkey Tennis?”

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“A Partridge Amongst The Pigeons. It’s just a title… Opening sequence: me in Trafalgar Square feeding the pigeons going ‘oh god…’ ”

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“Inner-City Sumo: we take fat people from the inner-city, put them in big nappies and then get them to throw each other out of a circle that we draw with chalk on the ground. Very cheap to make, we could do it in a pub car park. If you [the BBC] don’t do it, Sky will.”

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And if these shows still don’t get commissioned, there’s only one worthy response:

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