14 Reasons Why You Should Be Terrified Of Australia

In order of the intensity of anxiety that they inflict on me.

1. Great White Shark

Because duh.

2. Brown Snake

They F#%*ing chase you. CHASE YOU. They. Are. Faster. Than. You. Do you even begin to understand how terrifying that is?!?! DO YOU?!

3. Blue-ringed Octopus

Their cuteness WILL kill you. (Also, they can be the size of your fingertip…)

4. Saltwater Crocodile

Two words: Death Roll.

5. Box Jellyfish

They’re basically invisible. I hope you’re into friends peeing on you.

6. Bull Shark

They thrive in both saltwater and freshwater. NOWHERE IS SAFE.

7. Bluebottle Jellyfish

33-foot long tentacles that will destroy you. Kthxbye.

8. Inland Taipan Snake

I die.

9. Tiger Shark

16-feet of anxiety-inducing fish. Just no.

10. Funnel-web Spider

Just walk the other way.

11. Reef Stonefish

The most venomous fish in the world. I’ll pass.

12. Giant Centipede

Gross, just gross.

13. Redback Spider

Transfer all childhood Black Widow Spider fears here...

14. Cone Shells (Snail)

Snails can kill you?