1. Prince is the ultimate enigma.
2. Is he ♂? Is he ♀?
Trick question. He is...
3. Prince transcends space and time, an ageless nucleus of atomic grace.
4. He is the first solo artist to have a number one single, album, and movie—all at the same time.
5. He changed his name to an unpronounceable symbol and made the industry revolve around it.
6. He's just a super sexy M.F.
7. And betcha by golly wow, he knows it.
8. Like, he really knows it.
9. Like, he really, really knows it.
10. He's so sexy his music is your parents' worst nightmare.
Imagine, all because Prince "met her in a hotel lobby / masturbating with a magazine / and Nikki started 2 grind"...
11. He's an eternal force field of fearlessness.
12. Unless he's confronted with himself. Because the only known fear to Prince is Prince.
13. Prince is a never-ending virtual paradox, a constant digital riddle.
14. He's only concerned with life's most existential queries.
15. He is an animal that strikes curious poses.
16. And they* feel the heat, the heat between me and you and Prince.
17. He was sweet talking N text speak b4 humanity was texting.
18. Prince crafted a pop song so damn catchy it didn't even need a bass line.
That's like, unheard of.
19. Make that two pop songs so damn catchy.
Again, no bass line required to physically propel you to the dance floor every single time. WHAT IS THIS WIZARDRY?!
20. Prince is the circle of life and therefore also the royal baby.
21. For all we know, he could also be any of these purple Pokémon.
22. Or can we not see he's just a groovy ass ghost?
23. Whatever he is, Prince was put on this Earth to play guitar.
24. Like the time he shredded this solo, threw his guitar up... AND IT SIMPLY VANISHES INTO THIN AIR!
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At 3:28 is when this wizard's solo starts, at 6:05 is when the magic happens.
True story: When you Google "best guitar solo ever"...
25. Even when he's unplugged, he sounds amazing.
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This acoustic medley of "Cream"/"I Could Never Take The Place Of Your Man"/"Sweet Thing"/"Sometimes It Snows In April" is spectacular.
26. Even when you don't know he's there, he sounds amazing.
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That electric guitar on "Like A Prayer"? Prince.
27. He doesn't simply walk...
He piggyback rides his way to a stage.
View this video on YouTube
That Kanye West lyric will make a lot more sense to you at 2 minutes in.
28. Needless to say, Prince is definitely NOT Michael Jackson's understudy.
29. He made "TIME" magazine's list of best Twitter accounts in 2013 and he's not even on Twitter.
30. He didn't give us the "Batman" soundtrack we need, but the one we deserve.
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AKA, one of the best soundtracks ever.
31. On the rare occasions when he loses, he still wins.
32. He wrote the best make-out song of all time ever.
Look, we can argue about this all night... while we're making out!
33. And the best break-up song of all time ever.
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Prince wrote this stellar masterpiece.
34. Prince instills everlasting hope in men who are only 4 feet tall.
35. He gave birth to Carmen Electra.
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On the first day, Prince discovered a girl named Tara Leigh Patrick from Ohio. On the seventh day, Prince rested.
He also gave birth to Sheila E., Vanity 6, Apollonia 6, and Susanna Hoffs. Newsflash: Babes LUV Prince.
36. He's the only one who can make Beyoncé bow down.
37. Prince has complete reign over all meteorological conditions.
When Prince performed the Super Bowl Halftime Show in 2007, it had started raining actual physical drops of rain while he sang "Purple Rain."
38. He is a glorious spiral of sensual splits.
39. His omnipotent aura cannot be escaped.
40. He's already but a distant memory...
41. He is an oracle of almighty truth.
42. He is 4ever.
43. He is infinity.
44. He is Prince.
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