The 12 Most Ridiculous Parts Of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Latest GOOP Newsletter

This week, Paltrow thought working moms everywhere would just LOVE to see what it’s like to get photographed by Terry Richardson for the cover of “Harper’s Bazaar.” You know, to prepare them all for the day they’re photographed by Terry RIchardson for the cover of “Harper’s Bazaar.” Because EVERYONE is photographed by Terry Richardson for the cover of “Harper’s Bazaar” at one point or another, right?

While the newsletter held a “That’s so Gwyneth!” vibe of complete and utter detachment from normalcy throughout, I’ve decided to highlight some specific ones below.

1. The typically bourgeois introduction:

2. The reminder that she’s “Just like us!”:

3. The peek into the typical working mom’s post-school run professional makeup application:

4. The requisite hair-related “film noir” reference:

5. The third-party not-so-humble brag:

6. The admission of a flaw that actually does more to highlight the opposite:

7. The “I’m vulnerable, too!” moment of self-deprecation:

8. The “A working mom is NEVER off the clock!” reminder:

9. The… yeah, I’ve got nothing for this one.

10. The… yeah, I’ve got even more nothing for this one than I did for the last one:

11. The Hair and Makeup Ninjas action shot:

12. The “I’m blithely unaware of the fact that most women can’t spend $300 on any one piece of clothing, much less a knockoff version of my designer jumpsuit” recommendation: