Promoted

Lose A Few Pounds With Gwyneth Paltrow’s $425 Cleanse And Impossible Recipes

In the last edition of her email newsletter, Goop, Gwyneth Paltrow recommended an expensive spa day to nurse your New Year’s hangover. So it shouldn’t come as a surprise that the new issue features Paltrow recommending a $425, 21-day “Goop Cleanse.” But just in case that isn’t pretentious and out-of-touch enough for you, Paltrow also includes some cleanse-related recipes (you can’t eat normal food on the Goop Cleanse, you proletarian) that require more time, money and fresh herbs than anyone but Paltrow can possibly imagine. Here are some highlights.

1. Paltrow’s introductory letter:

2. This is what $425 buys you:

3. Have way too much time on your hands and small amounts of several hard-to-find and/or expensive ingredients? Congratulations, you can make this chicken wrap:

4. This dish looks practical:

5. Compared to this one, at least:

6. Even Ina Garten wouldn’t make this soup:

7. And finally:

Never change, Gwyneth. Never change.

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

This post was created by a user and has not been vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff. BuzzFeed Community is a place where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!

 
  Your Reaction?
  REACT WITH GIF
 
    Here Are The Top Stories
    • Airplane debris discovered Wednesday on the coast of the French island of Réunion is found to belong to a Boeing 777, a Malaysian official confirmed to AFP Friday.
    • Beijing has won its bid to host the 2022 Winter Olympics. It's the first city to host both the summer and winter games.
    • Zimbabwe's environment minister has called for Walter Palmer, the American dentist who killed Cecil the lion, to be extradited over the animal's death.
    Get The News App

    Hot Buzz

    What’s The Craziest Thing That’s Happened To You As A Nurse?

    collection

    What Would Your Life Be Like If You Went To Hogwarts?

    collection

    Now Buzzing