26. For the best results, apply pie DIRECTLY to your target’s face.
25. You can, however, experiment with angles.
24. But for amateur pie-throwers, stick with the simple pleasure of smashing a pie aggressively into your target’s face directly.
23. Try to pick a well-deserved target… you don’t want to waste a pie on just anybody.
21. In fact, try pieing someone who doesn’t deserve it. Just because.
19. Catch your victim by surprise for ultimate shaming pie-in-the-face effect.
18. For added suspenseful pleasure, pie your target in slow motion.
17. Apply the pie directly to the side of the face for maximum surface coverage.
16. If necessary, rub the pie INTO the target’s face for deep, pie penetration.
15. Be sure to fully capture the victim’s displeasure. This is, after all, what it’s all about.
14. Avoid hitting the top of your target’s head, because you’ll lose too much pie.
13. If necessary, wait until your target is asleep for heightened pie precision.
12. Choose a pie of lighter consistency for an added entertaining splat.
11. Let your target know you mean business — you’re dedicating this pie entirely to their face, they should know how you feel.
10. Again, smash the whipped cream violently into your target’s eyes after the initial blow for added effect.
9. Always pay attention to your surroundings: You can quickly become a target yourself.
7. For advanced pie attackers, target your pie victim while they’re preoccupied with something important.
6. Although, a suspecting target is a still a worthy one.
5. In fact, a willing target might be persuaded to essentially pie themselves.
4. Remember: Hit the side of the face for maximum surface area coverage.
3. And don’t forget to relish in your victim’s pie-induced displeasure.
2. IN CONCLUSION: You can never pie someone TOO much. There is never TOO MUCH pie in the face.
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