1. First of all, nobody believes in your obsession and you are shamed into believing it is NOT OKAY even though it is a TOTALLY NECESSARY LOVE.
2. You are literally addicted and anytime anything happens, you freak out because every single thing they do is important.
3. Whenever they release a new single, you start heaving for the entire four minutes it takes to get through the song.
4. And you pretty much listen to every song wherever you are all the time.
5. People think it’s “weird” and “menacing to society” to wear a One Direction backpack in public, but you know it’s not.
6. Basically anybody who isn’t Harry Styles is just wasting their time bothering you.
7. When Harry had his pants pulled down, you literally had to cancel your plans for an entire week because nothing else mattered.
8. Like, actually nothing else in the world was important.
9. Literally every single picture of them makes your lungs stop functioning.
10. Every time they upload a picture to Instagram, a small part of your soul bursts into flames.
11. Like, actually, you have a deep, strong desire to jump out a window every time you see a picture of them, which amplifies by one thousand if it is a shirtless picture.
12. And you just want to punch them in their stupid beautiful faces.
14. And run screaming down the street in flames because you cannot handle how beautiful and perfect they are.
15. You felt the same physical pain that Harry’s penis felt when it got hit with a shoe.
16. And you feel that same physical pain whenever you see an inch of their skin, amplified by one trillion if it’s a butt.
20. And basically whenever you see their stupid faces and their stupid hair and their stupid eyebrows and you just want to scream.
21. You start imagining their faces on literally everybody else because nobody matters as much as them.
24. Whenever you see their beautiful hair, you start imagining what your life would be like if you could surf, naked, on those tiny swirls, and then you wake up like a week later, drenched in sweat.
25. You literally could not control your desire to see the 1D movie and you actually cried — ACTUALLY CRIED — in the theater when Harry woke up naked in bed.
26. People think you’re “weird” and “unstable” because you actually scream out loud when you see a gif of them slapping one another’s butts.
27. You wasted like an hour of your life writing an angry message to the magazine that made this egregious mistake.
29. Like, actually, you know it’s weird, but you’ve physically licked your computer screen over an image of Harry Styles.
30. Every time you see them make a funny face, you just want to punch them in the mouth and then kiss them right on the lips.
31. Whenever they stick out their tongues, all the air in your lungs leaves your body…
34. Literally everything they do is the worst thing that has ever happened to you and it’s beautiful and amazing and it ruins your life.
35. Whenever they say they like anything, you spend years convincing yourself that you love the same thing and will therefore spend the rest of your lives together.
36. You’ve wasted hours and hours of your life thinking about Harry Styles’ butt.
37. Everything you own is covered in their faces and it’s embarrassing but necessary.
38. Literally whenever they do anything, you have to stop everything and study every tiny detail of their beautiful faces and hair and eyes and skin and lips and fingers.
In The News Today
- Doctors Without Borders says 19 people died after a U.S. airstrike caused possible collateral damage at a hospital in Afghanistan. ›
- The Catholic Church fired high-ranking Vatican official Monsignor Krzysztof Charamsa. He came out as gay on Saturday. ›
- Hundreds of rescue workers in Guatemala dug through rubble, searching for signs of life after a mudslide killed at least 56 people. ›