1. Perhaps you, like Tom Daley, are a busy person. Perhaps you have things going on. Perhaps, in the course of the last three months, you’ve gotten distracted by life and forgotten that Tom Daley exists.
2. Well this is a much-needed, very important, extremely vital reality check for everyone suffering from this very concerning lapse in memory: TOM DALEY STILL EXISTS AND HE IS PERFECT.
3. In fact, he is quite arguably more perfect than ever, and his various skills have only multiplied since last we visited them.
4. His many abilities now include casually standing around in a speedo while wrapping tape around his big thumb.
5. Stuffing random objects into his beautiful gaping mouth.
6. Sassily walking into a room with an empty bottle of water and sunglasses and looking like he’s about to slap someone in the face.
7. Maintaining perfection while suspended in midair.
8. Making a stank face while wiping his glorious hair.
9. Jumping gloriously off of tall surfaces and plummeting into water.
10. Giving birth to a beautiful imaginary child in midair and nurturing it in a loving environment, full of love and care.
11. Getting caressed in the face by someone who is not me but should be me.
I’m sure she’s a nice lady. But last time I checked, she is not me.
12. Basically, since last we saw Tom Daley, his midair flips have grown in gloriousness by at least 300 to 500 percent.
13. Also whatever is happening here happened, so I’m just pointing that out.
14. Also this.
I’M SORRY, TOM. IT HAPPENED. I’M JUST SAYING. IT HAPPENED.
15. He’s also become particularly skilled at filming himself while dancing around his bedroom in his underwear.
16. And while shirtlessly doing his hair in the morning.
17. So. To reiterate. This is your reminder that Tom Daley exists.
19. He also that he has a new calendar to help you remember that he exists and is perfect every single month.
- Five people were arrested as protesters gathered in Chicago after the release of a dash-cam video of the fatal shooting of 17-year-old Laquan McDonald. ›
- Brussels started reopening schools and the Metro Wednesday after a four-day security lockdown. The city remains on the highest terrorism alert. ›
- Pope Francis has arrived in Kenya. It's his first visit to Africa as pontiff. ›