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21 Things Her Majesty The Queen Is Probably Thinking This 4th Of July

A message to the colonies from your new global overlord.

1. “Listen up, wankers…”

Kirsty Wigglesworth - WPA Pool / Getty Images

2. “Your lives belong to me now.”

Dan Kitwood - WPA Pool / Getty Images

3. “Yes. Yes. You wankstains may think you won your freedom long ago.”

Stefan Rousseau - WPA Pool / Getty Images

4. “But you’re wrong. My empire is alive again.”

Chris Jackson / Getty Images for Ascot Racecourse

5. “My minions are preparing our artillery as we speak.”

Chris Ison - WPA Pool / Getty Images

6. “The idea of your independence makes the tiny white bristles of my ass hair stand on end.”

Yui Mok - WPA Pool / Getty Images

7. “And you will taste those hairs lest you deliver yourselves to me instantly.”

Danny E. Martindale / Getty Images

8. “You colonists think you own this globe… But I will envelop you in the flappy folds of my queendom.”

Arthur Edwards - WPA Pool / Getty Images

9. “You rogues expect me to relent?”

Yui Mok - WPA Pool / Getty Images

10. “I will burn your pansy country to the ground.”

Steve Parsons - WPA Pool / Getty Images

11. “We’ve launched our finest weaponry. Oh yes, peasants. Just wait.”

Chris Jackson / Getty Images

12. “Our treasury is deep and strong.”

Eddie Mulholland - WPA Pool / Getty Images

13. “And my peasant children are working the factories, building our strength.”

John Stillwell - WPA Pool / Getty Images

14. “ALL WILL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR.”

Matt Cardy / Getty Images

15. “My empire will rise like a great engulfing fanny, swallowing all who oppose it.”

Matt Dunham - WPA Pool / Getty Images

16. “We will surround you with our robust vegetation.”

Paul Edwards - WPA Pool / Getty Images

17. “We will weaponize our finest gingers.”

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18. “WE WILL RUN YOU DOWN WITH OUR CHARGING CARRIAGES.”

Alastair Grant - WPA Pool / Getty Images

19. “Oh yes, peasants. My empire is rising again.”

Alan Crowhurst / Getty Images

20. “Britain will be avenged.”

Eamonn M. McCormack - WPA-Pool / Getty Images

21. “Oh, yes. And so will I.”

Chris Jackson / Getty Images

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Full-time Beyoncé and writer for BFF at BuzzFeed. His work for BuzzFeed is now (mostly) on Twitter, Tumblr and @YrBFF
 
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