LET’S CLARIFY RIGHT AWAY: Each member of One Direction is beautiful and perfect in his own way. BUT… What if we took their beauty and perfection and mashed them together to create new beautiful, perfect beasts? The definitive results:
10. Harry and Liam:
He’d be cute after a nice haircut and shave and probably, like, five to seven scalding hot showers and a few robust applications of prescription deodorant.
9. Zayn and Liam:
He’s pretty if you ignore the fact that he probably arrived to Earth 3,000 years ago and has been slowly growing the size of his forehead since then.
8. Niall and Louis:
This monster looks like someone who’d fancy watching you while you sleep, but not in the gentle, charming way you’d expect. Like, creepy, heavy breathing from the corner of your bedroom or maybe from inside your half-open closet.
7. Niall and Liam:
I mean, he’s kinda hot, if you’re into action figures who are also stuffed animals.
6. Niall and Harry:
He looks like if a baby was born as a full-grown man with a fully formed body and skeletal structure and shoulder-length hair, but like, he’s still a newborn baby.
5. Louis and Harry:
He looks like someone who would help you do your makeup and carry your handbag and tell you which shoes go best with your outfit and you could talk about boys and have drinks and it would be beautiful.
4. Louis and Zayn:
He’s too pretty to be real, and it makes me angry. It make me angry to think about how beautiful this person could be, and therefore, I don’t like it.
3. Louis and Liam:
He’s charming. He has a beautiful boy-next-door beauty and I want to touch his face and caress his cheeks.
2. Zayn and Niall:
This is basically a perfect specimen — he’s cute AND hot AND pretty AND has perfect facial hair and eyebrows and eyes and pretty much everything.
1. Harry and Zayn:
THIS MAN IS LITERALLY PERFECT AND HE PROBABLY HAS A LEATHER JACKET AND HE PROBABLY LOOKS SO GOOD IN THAT LEATHER JACKET.