FACTS: 5SOS stands for 5 Seconds of Summer. They are a band from Australia. There are four of them. They are all adorable. They just released their first full-length album. They played the “Today” Show, and all of the following things happened for real:
1. First of all, Calum and Ashton took this picture backstage, before anything even started, changing lives by the mere truth of their existence.
2. Then they walked onstage, and their graceful, manly armpits looked out onto the world, filling places of darkness with light.
3. They took this selfie with Matt Lauer whose very presence is now blessed by their medicinal youth, his skin lifted by its mere proximity to their angelic faces.
4. Then Michael began strumming his guitar with the grace of a young lover plucking petals from a supple rose.
5. And Luke’s mouth ever-so-slightly grazed the side of his microphone as he filled the air with sweet, sweet love.
6. And Ashton and Ashton’s floppy hair and Ashton’s arm and Ashton’s side-boob attacked these drums with such ferocity, an angel somewhere trembled on his bed of cloud.
7. And then Calum swirled his eyebrows, and I felt the earth physically shift beneath my feet as they swished across his face.
8. Then they all started performing as one, and it felt like a warm, lingering hug, squeezing the very breath from my lungs.
12. There was the moment Ashton looked lustily at the back of Luke’s head, burning with passion.
13. There was the moment Calum’s sweet, tender eyes looked out into the crowd and his beauty brought a single tear to my eye.
14. There was everything happening in and around Ashton’s armpit.
15. There was the moment Luke’s legs were as twisted as my heart strings.
16. The moment they put their beautiful legs atop this box, which represents the container of my emotions.
17. There was the moment Calum presented his beautiful backside to Luke, and my knees buckled.
18. There was basically all of Calum’s arm-raising, skinny-jean-wearing, tear-inducing beauty.
19. And all of Luke’s gaping glory.
20. And all of Michael’s flailing grace.
21. And all of Ashton’s manly drum-beating, heart-stopping charm.
22. There was this face.
23. These beautiful fingers.
24. And this smile.
25. And these arms.
26. And this face.
27. And this everything.
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