1. THINK ABOUT BREAKFAST SANDWICHES FOR A SECOND. Breakfast sandwiches are an ENTIRE breakfast in sandwich form. THINK ABOUT THAT. It’s bread, cleaved in two, stuffed with a whole delicious breakfast.
2. Or how about pizza bagels??? What are pizza bagels all about? I mean, A WHOLE DELICIOUS pizza on top of a fluffy bagel. IS IT BREAKFAST? IS IT DINNER? I DON’T KNOW.
3. WAFFLES??! WAFFLES HAVE THEIR OWN BUILT-IN SYRUP AND BUTTER RECEPTACLES. It’s like a delicious, crusty pancake without all the mess of syrup running OFF of the pancake because there’s those little tiny syrup bowls.
4. OR CALZONES. Calzones are AN ENTIRE PIZZA FOLDED IN TWO and stuffed with mouth-watering ingredients.
5. Donut. Holes…. They are donuts. But BITE-SIZED. IT IS A BITE-SIZED DONUT. IN FACT, IT’S LIKE THE OPPOSITE OF A DONUT. But in the BEST way.
6. TAQUITOS??? IT’S A TACO. Rolled into a STICK. Made DIPPABLE.
7. How about grilled cheese???? Huh?? What is grilled cheese?? Besides a hot, warm handful of cheese. Melted between two buttery pieces of bread.
8. OR WHAT ABOUT A BREAD BOWL. OH, SWEET MERCIFUL LORD. It’s a FOOD RECEPTACLE… made OUT OF FOOD.
9. CINNAMON ROLLS. It’s not just bread. But a delicious sugary bread ROLLED into a tight bun and slathered in glaze.
10. CORN DOGS. It’s a hotdog. WRAPPED IN CORN BREAD.
11. WHAT ABOUT BREAKFAST BURRITOS made out of PANCAKES. IT’S AN ENTIRE BREAKFAST IN A PANCAKE.
13. OR WHAT ABOUT CUPCAKES?? HUH? WHO THOUGHT OF CUPCAKES?? Who thought, let’s make an entire cake. IN A CUP.
14. MEATBALLS. IT’s LIKE MEAT ROLLED IN BREAD AND SPICES AND FORMED INTO A SAVORY SPHERE OF MOUTH-WATERING GOODNESS.
15. DOUBLE-BAKED POTATOES. I don’t know who decided to bake a potato once. BUT TWICE. And then it’s like mashed potatoes on top and baked potatoes on bottom. And then you have all those toppings.
16. AND FINALLY. THE MOST MIND-BLOWING FOOD OF ALL. CHEESE STICKS. IT IS CHEESE. AS A STICK. DEEP-FRIED. AND DIPPABLE.
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