1. “We wrote about this cat that came to the office who’s kind of a big deal.”
We threw a party for him and everything.
2. “We wrote about sports ‘n’ stuff.”
(I mean, who else was gonna ask this, Dad? Huh? WHO?)
3. “We wrote about this really important athlete who’s, like, really really important.”
(And he’s gonna marry me someday, I promise.)
6. “We wrote about this time the Lion King happened in real life at the office.”
“C’mon, Mom, there was a lion, a monkey, AND a warthog!”
12. “We wrote about this little girl who, like, took over America.”
Honey Boo Boo is basically part of our family.
14. “And things people really love.”
EVERYBODY LOVES JENNIFER LAWRENCE MOM, DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND?!
18. “And, most importantly, butts.”
YES, THIS IS SHAMELESS SELF PROMO, BUT BUTTS ARE REALLY IMPORTANT.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND BUZZFEED NOW, MOM AND DAD?!
- Fox News has announced the 10 Republican candidates who will participate in the first debate of the 2016 U.S. presidential race on Thursday.
- The World Health Organization says new cases of Ebola in Sierra Leone and Guinea hit the lowest point in more than a year last week.
- Super Typhoon Soudelor, the strongest storm of 2015 so far, is threatening parts of Asia after hitting the Pacific island Saipan.