Quiz

BuzzFeed Staff

BuzzFeed

Which Portlandia Character Are You?

You used to let people slap you on the ass and gave bosses open-mouth kisses, but eventually it got old. You simply couldn’t compete with those other bitches who would go all the way. Today, your passions are books, feminism, flowy skirts, and chunky glasses. You put women and women first. There’s probably a vagina pillow in your living room. Oh, and Murphy Brown forever!

Toni

You were a senior VP 20 years ago, but now you're an old hippie feminist bookstore owner. You aren’t afraid to show your nipples, even when you’ve got a stray hair situation going on. Men are your enemy. You’ve used your body to get ahead, but shit went down, and now you won’t even accept a heart transplant if the donor had a penis. You look like a horse, pee like a horse, and nothing gets in your way.

Candace

You’re fashionable and rock a leopard print blazer like no one else can. But no, there’s no padding! You’ve got broad shoulders, and between that and your love of hooker makeup, you often look like you walked right out of an episode of "RuPaul's Drag Race." You live for romance, and appreciate it when people show you that they’re thinking about you. Hey, CACAO!

Nina

Your speaking voice seems artificially low. You put off a tough guy vibe, but you’ve got a soft spot for animals. Sometimes you really just need to cry it out. You made fun of people for watching "The Notebook," but then after watching it, you totally got it. Black leather looks great on you, and for some reason you look inexplicably similar to Justin Long. Commitments scare you, but you’re working through your issues. Long live the Pull-Out King!

Lance

Everyone tells you that you’ve got great eyes, but you’re just a guy! You’re a bit gullible and have been lured into some pretty awkward situations. But what the hell, you’ve only got another 40 years on this planet, you might as well live it up! However, you remain very picky about what you eat. Your body is your temple, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and… you try to keep it healthy!

Peter

You’re kind of a pain at restaurants. The idea of someone cashing in on a trend like “organic” really tears at the core of your being. You’d be a great sister wife. The thought of joining a group of wives really appeals to you at this point in the game. You love your current partner, but they seriously annoy the shit out of you more often than you’d verbally admit. You’re straight up traveling to Chernobyl in a desperate attempt to get cancer.

Nance

Sitting in a chair all day hurts your back, and you need the extra core strength, so you had your HR person order you a yoga ball for your desk. You seem pretty cool; people tend to get oddly excited about meeting you. You’ve received some random awards. You get them made and give them to yourself, because you make it a point to recognize your own accomplishments. Seattle sucks!

The Mayor

You've been called a cultural tease, but so what if you're not referencing things on purpose? You get your inspiration from Lucky magazine. Obviously you swing both ways. You’re pretty open (sexually speaking), and love killing a bottle or three of wine in the park with your friends and lovers. So what if you don’t recycle? You consider it a donation to the homeless, and that’s a good thing! The world would be a much better place if people were as charitable as you are.

Alexandra

About BuzzFeed Community

Community Brand Guidelines

BuzzFeed Community

Sorry, this content is <i>no longer</i> supported.

BuzzFeed Community Guidelines

BuzzFeed Community Leaderboard

BuzzFeed News has breaking stories and original reporting on politics, world news, social media, viral trends, health, science, technology, entertainment, and LGBTQ issues.

All the best animals on the internet. The snuggle is real.

BuzzFeed has breaking news, vital journalism, quizzes, videos, celeb news, Tasty food videos, recipes, DIY hacks, and all the trending buzz you’ll want to share with your friends. Copyright BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.

BuzzFeed News | Breaking News | Original Reporting | News Analysis

Animal Pictures and Videos - Adorably from BuzzFeed

Name

Thanks for subscribing!

Stay up to date with our latest BuzzFeed video. Enter your email to subscribe!

Oops! Upload an image or add text to submit.

BuzzFeed has the hottest, most social content on the web. We feature breaking buzz and the kinds of things you'd want to pass along to your friends.

Which Portlandia Character Are You?

Share This Article