Anderson Cooper Knows Your Secrets

1. He knows you’re only wearing that cardigan to cover the stain on your blouse:

2. He knows you voted for yourself for Employee of the Month:

3. He knows you didn’t wash your hands:

4. He knows you weren’t “just passing by” the Breaking Dawn midnight premiere:

5. He knows his birthday present isn’t already in the mail:

6. He knows you didn’t “decide” to go stag to your Cousin Ginny’s wedding:

7. He knows that you don’t own “Fifty Shades of Grey” as a joke:

8. He knows that “Citizen Kane” isn’t really your favorite movie:

9. And… He knows who you went home with last night: