1. 1. You’ve read at least one work of all the philosophers in Monty Python’s “The Philosopher’s Song”
And probably knew at least one professor in your major who was a total alcoholic…
2. 2. Listening to Fox News discuss Islam or that annoying relative of yours who loves Dan Brown books or a fifteen-year-old yoga teacher talking about like, Buddhism, makes your head want to EXPLODE
Um, no, the mystery is why you haven’t read The Gnostic Gospels by Elaine Pagels
3. 3. When your boss is being really annoying, you immediately start thinking of Foucault’s concept of the panopticon
4. 4. You are on WebMD and one of the symptoms of a heart attack is “a feeling of dread” and you’re like, “I have felt that way since I was fourteen years old.”
5. 5. You get really mad if people use words like “postmodern” or “existential” in the wrong way.
Being depressed that Starbucks has run out of soy milk for your latte is NOT an existential experience!
6. 6. When people say “I’m not religious, I’m spiritual” all you can think is that you studied religion and philosophy for four years (or more) and not even your professors could come up with a good definition of what ‘religion’ or ‘philosophy’ really is….
7. 7. Despite philosophy’s (and religion’s) quest to understand all of human existence in its entirety, you still got a crappy job after you graduated…
They said the major would teach you to think and write, not pay the bills. But surely you know the answer to at least THIS question?