1. So you've heard great things about Milan?
2. And you think it's worth a little trip?
3. Well, save your time and your money...
4. Because Milan is not worth it...
5. And no one should ever go there!
6. Seriously, look how ugly this place is!
7. It's like a big old wart on the face of Italy.
8. It's just vile.
9. So vile it's borderline insulting.
10. This city has no class.
11. No edge.
12. No cultural life.
13. No art.
14. Zero history.
15. Really bad fashion.
Dolce & Gabbana, Spring 2016 Ready-to-Wear.
16. And absolutely no sense of style.
17. AT ALL.
18. Nothing ever happens there.
19. And there is literally nowhere to go on weekends.
20. The architecture is boring...
21. Unimaginative...
CityLife.
22. And outdated.
23. The whole thing is just so hideous.
24. It hurts my feelings.
25. For real, who would want to go there?
26. Who would want to hang out on these streets?
27. Sit by this fountain??
28. And drive by this arch??
29. You would have to be crazy to want to live in such a place!
30. So just believe me when I say...
31. Never visit Milan!
32. Because it's just the absolute worst.
