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Cementing the death of Ned AND Robb AND Catelyn and essentially all the Starks, Ice is being reworked into two swords — under the orders of badass and de facto King of the Seven Kingdoms, Tywin Fucking Lannister.
Rains of Castamere overtaking the North’s theme music is an especially harrowing touch.
I adore Jaime’s short hair even though he doesn’t look like Prince Charming anymore.
Jaime may not want children, but he’s got them!
Tywin loves his kids only when it’s convenient to him, and they do exactly as he says.
Pod got older. ‘Sup Pod.
The Dornish have arrived in King's Landing. I am complete.
Oh my GOD Prince Oberyn gets a guitar theme. YES.
Aw, I feel like Oberyn and Ellaria would’ve liked Ros. RIP Ros.
Oh YES it’s the guy Loras fucked last season, Olyvar. I like him. He’s the new Ros. Hi, new Ros!
Now, THAT’S how you do a character introduction. Welcome, Oberyn and Ellaria. It’s been far too long.
Aw! The dragon babies are so big! Ah! The babies are so big!
Ha! Did Drogon belch? Don’t get in between the belching Drogon and his lamb!
This new Daario is less Book!Daario than the old one. But perhaps that’s for the best. Book!Daario is the woooooorst.
Shae got a hair upgrade.
Shae shouldn’t be so upset about Tyrion’s marriage with Sansa, but she’s not as smart as she thinks she is. She’s insecure — that’s her problem. That will be her downfall, too.
The gold hand looks heavy. Elegant, yes, but heavy and unnecessary.
UGH. Qyburn. Gross.
Did Qyburn give Cersei moon tea (which is the Westeros equivalent of the morning after pill)? DRAMA.
The location scout did an extra good job for the wildlings’ southron base camp.
Who doesn’t fucking hate Thenns? Still, Magnar of Thenn is a kick-ass title. It seems cannibals are trendy this TV season.
Jon Snow talking about Robb Stark makes me really sad.
UGH. Alliser Thorne. Gross.
Did they recast Janos Slynt? Not that I care all that much, just curious.
I love the costumes of the Tyrell ladies. But why are they blue and gold and not green and gold?
Aw, I forgot Brienne adored Renly. That’s what made her so relatable even before her interaction with Jaime.
UGH. Joffrey’s statue. Gross.
40-year-old knight with one hand! Burn.
Also, it’s interesting that they aged up the adult characters, too. At the start of the first book, Jaime is 32.
Dany’s never been properly romanced before — this is why despite herself she enjoys Daario’s attentions.
Jaime saying he may be related to Brienne is a pick up line, right? Given his romantic history.
Arya-The Hound time! I want an hour-long show of just them.
The Inn at the Crossroads is no Three Broomsticks, that’s for sure.
I love Sandor Clegane so much. I love him to an irrational degree.
The fields burn because of the Mountain Who Rides. But today, The Hound and Arya prevailed. Valar Morghulis.
NEXT EPISODE:
The Purple Wedding! Will it make me feel better about the Red Wedding? For a time…until the unwanted consequences of the Purple Wedding come to fruition.
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