1. First of all, you just know when you’re a Punk Rock Prom Queen.
While the titles of “Punk Rock” and “Prom Queen” seem to contradict each other, they’re both about empowerment and confidence. And that’s you!
2. You’re a brown paper magazine.
Too good to be given away for free, ya know?
3. You’re hotter than anyone’s ever seen.
Just look at ya!
4. As for fun, you’re more or less a 10-ticket thrill ride.
Life is a carnival and you’re quality, not quantity.
5. Which makes you irresistible.
At this point in the song, Josie McCoy (played by Rachael Leigh Cook) would sing, “Don’t you want to come inside?” It’s a metaphor, people!
6. Punk Rock Prom Queens are totally worth five stars.
Rating = perfection.
7. Oh, and did I mention that you’re a total Triple Threat?
You can do it all!
8. You’re no one’s little red Corvette.
Because that shit is whatever color you want it to be (pink) and you own it. You’re strong!
9. People say they ain’t seen nothing like you before.
And you agree because duh.
10. And all your friends are super original too.
Punk rock was founded on ideas of community, and how does anyone become prom queen without friends? They don’t. Friends first!
11. “You just don’t impress me much” is your mantra.
Not gonna feign interest in boring people, especially if they try and pull at your heart strings.
12. “I don’t wanna treat you nice” is the other.
If people are mean to you, you’re not going to be friendly to them. It’s not “an eye for an eye,” but a warning of positivity.
13. This is your anthem, but you’re so much more!
One of the best pop punk songs ever written, and not to mention, a feminist manifesto… “Three Small Words” is how you got your start, but every Queen has to reign individually.
15. People look to you for fashion advice.
You’re an icon, and you know the dangers of it. People shouldn’t dress alike… they should be inspired by your individuality (and don’t worry, they totally are).
16. Fun is wherever your friends are!
Have you ever wanted to wash a car more?
17. You would never dream of doing anything “illicit” without your buds.
“Live together, die together” — a punk prophet (aka you)
18. Boy bands just don’t stand a chance around you.
You and your girls take OVER music.
19. A good joke never gets pass you.
Fun times for all.
20. But when the time comes, you’re all business.
Because being a Punk Rock Prom Queen comes with some responsibilities… and that’s pretty sexy.
21. And fearless.
If someone threatens you, give them a smile because they’re not worth it!
22. You love cats… and sexual parodies.
Because you’re your own person and can do whatever you so please.
24. When it comes down to putting things in perspective, you’re always there to guide others.
Reality check please!