1. The miracle of modern science in the form of these shorts:
To quote Diplo’s Instagram, “How are these even shorts?”
2. The crowd, which ensured all the insanity took place on or off the stage (not behind it).
OK, this is sort of a cop-out, but everyone was super friendly and polite. A lot of things could go terribly wrong, but nothing did. Backstage was the tamest I’ve been around — the real insanity was all the attendees losing their minds!
3. Uniformed rave gear.
Think about all the ’80s and ’90s sitcoms predicated on “you’re not leaving the house like that, young lady!” jokes. Now look at these young ladies. They found a safe place to rock what their heart so deserved, and did a kickass job of doing so.
4. There are colors this woman is wearing that I didn’t even know existed.
Everything was neon and nothing hurt.
5. The 10+ “Versace” related shirts I counted.
This Amanda Bynes/Migos worship shirt is the shirt to end all shirts.
6. The 147 pounds of fake fur (I’m guessing here) to make this incredible footgear.
There is only one place it is acceptable to wear this stuff at, and it’s totally worth however much it costs. People wore these like they wear them every day!
7. The most important question of the evening:
At least, it seemed to be the most important “overheard” question.
8. Diplo walking in a giant bubble, on top of heads.
Move over, Wayne Coyne.
9. Cannot stress this enough. Diplo. In. A. Giant. Bubble.
He’s also wearing a suit, which sort of makes him look like a golden god.
10. The fact that all of this happened BEFORE 10 p.m.
11. The four different people I saw rocking animal head masks.
In case you were wondering, yes, the horse head is the most popular.
12. Major Lazer threw a bunch of stuff at everyone.
At one point, it appeared that Diplo threw a series of earbuds into the crowd, as well as launched canyons of glitter, water, and the like.
13. When 3Ball MTY sampled “Suavemente.”
Kids who otherwise would have no introduction to the work of the great Puerto Rican merengue singer were belting “Suavemente, bésame!” It was certainly a sight to be seen.
14. Dillon Francis reminding everyone that guitar music doesn’t totally suck.
Dude regularly samples and remixes stuff by the likes of Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs and Death Cab For Cutie. The young DJ even started his set with a sample of Blur’s “Song 2,” which proved that good electronic music can find inspiration everywhere.
15. When Mystic joined Major Lazer on stage for “Bubble Butt.”
According to the trio, the act has never performed the song with a member featured on the track, so when Mystic joined, the crowd went wild.
16. When Major Lazer declared the Harlem Shake dead.
The exact quote was something along the lines of “Can we just end it now? The last Harlem Shake in New York City!” (I think we’re all thankful for this.)
17. When Fat Jew (Fabrizio Goldstein) said this:
21. Diplo telling security to “chill the fuck out,” after inviting the first few rows of the crowd on stage.
Ain’t no party like a Diplo party.
22. The guy who got completely naked during Matt & Kim’s set.
Because Kim asked him to. No joke.
23. The four people who offered to sell me molly.
It’s a hell of a drug… and an identity thing, I guess?
24. But if anyone/thing won Mad Decent Block Party, it was BUTTS.
REJECT ALL FALSE ICONS EXCEPT BUBBLE BUTTS.
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