The world sat on the cusp of a new millenium. It was a trying time, all anyone really wanted was some quality Southern California pop punk. Enter Blink-182, Green Day’s younger, brattier siblings. “All the Small Things” is not only Blink’s best known track, it’s also the best summer anthem basically ever about being young and in love and stuff.
THIS SONG IS LITERALLY ABOUT SUMMER. Get it? A summer jam. About summer. Why complicate it?
Every good songs boils down to sex, and “nookie” might be the best term for getting it on that anyone has ever come up with, ever. Nu-metal heroes Limp Bizkit’s other summer hit was titled “Break Stuff,” so, you know, they’ve covered all bases.
Those familiar with the Tony Hawk Pro Skater series soundtrack already knew about The Offspring years before “Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)” dropped, but it is this MASSIVE hit that put the pop punkers on the map. It’s a totally ridiculous and over the top song, but hey, that’s part of what makes 1999 so special.
This is basically a step-by-step guide on how to be cool in the summer. Where art thou, crop tops? Miss you!
Blink-182’s “All the Small Thing’s” video was parody of Backstreet Boys’ “I Want It That Way,” which is hilarious because they were both wildly successful on radio. When has that happened before? When will that happen again? The answer is never because 1999 was the best.
You know that one guy from college who refuses to play his acoustic guitar — loudly— anywhere other than the quad? That guy is playing Third Eye Blind’s, “Jumper,” which, despite why you may want to think, is a jam.
Basically if your name was in this song you were literally the coolest girl. (Note: Most common names are listed so, ya know, all girls are the coolest!)
Egoless, diverse Spice Girls. They had some jams and a terrible television program. They were so PC it hurt, but the good kind of hurt. Ain’t no party like an S Club party!
With the very notable exception of “Nookie,” “Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom” is possibly the most direct sex song to ever exist. “I want you in my room”? OK.
And then, in one grand motion, America was introduced to dance music. It came from Europe and found a home as cellphone ringtones everywhere. If you think you don’t know this one, you’re wrong.
Shania Twain, “That Don’t Impress Me Much”
Finally — a Top 40 feminist anthem! If he don’t impress you much, tell him! All hail country pop goddess Shania.
Bow down to the altar of Ricky Martin. Not only is the catchiest, sexist song to ever happen, it’s sort of a testament to life in 1999. Aren’t we all just, ya know, livin’ la vida loca? Thank you, Puerto Rico. Thank you, pop music.