1. Michael Jackson
I’d like to wager that this doll has either a.) been sitting under something heavy for quite some time or b.) was previously owned by the mother of some demented 8-year-old who was reeeeeally pissed when she wouldn’t buy him a bb gun so he took his boy scout swiss army knife to her most prized possession and, in the most passive-aggressive way possible, slowly started chipping away at porcelain.
This one should go without saying but OMG YOU COULD FIT YOUR FINGER IN HIS EYE YOU COULD FIT YOUR FIGURE IN HIS EYE SOCKET.
11. Justin Bieber
Guys, if you’re gonna blatantly rip off the design of almost every single character in Blue’s Clues (I think this is actually a personification of Mr. Salt) Nickelodeon is gonna wanna know. Or this is the product of some elementary school girl who suffers from an undiagnosed obsessive fandom disorder… and took her “Flat Stanley” project way too far.
Because when I think “Lady Gaga,” my mind immediately jumps too “weird baseball material and gold stuff, kind of like a unicorn but not because soda cans.” But this doll is real! And you can buy it! For $100! Honestly, if you have an extra $100 to spare, I can think of a billion better ways to spend your money (ex: 100 slices of $1 pizza,) but I digress.
- Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders clashed on immigration, Obama, and Kissinger (!) in Thursday's Democratic debate. We have a recap for you 🇺🇸
- NYPD Officer Peter Liang was found guilty of manslaughter in the 2014 shooting of Akai Gurley, an unarmed black man.
- And how well do you know what happened in the news this week? Take our quiz.