Music

11 Things I Learned At A Paramore Concert

Spoiler: There’s a lot of confetti involved.

1. When performing, it is very important to point at your audience. Like, really important.

So important.

Extremely important.

How else will people know you’re in the band? Other than being on stage and playing an instrument and stuff.

If you are not pointing you are basically not a real musician.

And no one will like you, etc.

2. Provide many platformed island thingies to jump off of.

Jason DeCrow / AP

Because really, what is live music without jumping off of shit?

3. Coloring your hair to look like fire is cheaper than getting pyrotechnics.

Also it looks awesome.

4. Never underestimate the power of powder paint.

Always. It’s not kinda gross/dirty if it’s NEON PINK.

5. When that fails, CONFETTI!!

A lot of confetti. Prefably, confetti that matches the fiery persona of your band.

Yes. More hair jokes.

In fact, you need confetti.

Not an option.

Literally everyone loves confetti.

It makes up for the fact that your sweaty body is being pushed up against the metal barricade and also everyone else’s sweaty body.

6. If you’re a fan and want to get noticed, prepare to get married.

Paramore’s no longer exclusively for tween girls! A gentleman recently proposed to his girlfriend during “The Only Exception” at a show in Boston. But this has also happened in Hawaii and London and all over so, you know. It’s a Paramore thing.

7. And duh, there’s no way she’ll say no.

Because Paramore is about love. Amore = love. We’re just going to ignore the fact that the prefix par- means beside/beyond/resembling/etc. and that “paramour” means secret lover. There is literally nothing less secret than purposing in front of a billion screaming fans but I digress. This rules.

8. No shame in bringing mom.

Mom is probably going to have as much fun as you, or possibly more. Probably more.

9. Wear the uniform.

The uniform, like everything else that is wonderful in this world, is Paramore. And probably “under 21” wristbands. Remember the days of huge sharpie X’s? Sigh.

10. Crowd surfing requires perfect form.

Or being a tween so security guards can easily carry you over the barricade. Idk. But this girl is doing a really good job. I mean, no one is grabbing her inappropriately, she has one free hand extended for the ultimate in rock ‘n’ roll. Like I said, it’s all in the form.

11. It’s okay to deface your country’s flag, if only with Paramore lyrics.

You will be rewarded with a good time and will be forever immortalized as “flag guy.” Love you, flag guy.

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