Spring is upon us
And with that comes Spring cleaning
Nothing can slow you down today
1. So you open up with some light negotiations…
“If you stay in that corner, I won’t kill you… I’ll never kill any spiders again… I’ll buy you licorice… Please for the love of GOD stay in that corner!”
But the détente doesn’t last long
2. Don’t worry! It’s Vacuum time!
And of course the inevitable happens…
3. So you move on to the next best thing in your arsenal—HAIRSPRAY
Or Axe if you’re a guy. It has the same effect on spiders as it has on women…
And you knew it wasn’t going to work but you had to try…
Don’t worry we have contingency plans for this sort of thing!
4. So you call upon your resident BOUNTY HUNTER
For 2 PRECISELY 15 minute-long cuddles a day and unlimited tuna this BAMF hunts down your silverfish, spiders and the occasional mouse.
But even Kitty Fett is foiled by this demon spider from hell
5. So now you realize it’s down to YOU
In a way you knew this was how it was going to end all along
6. Shame your cat and show him how its done
7. So you dip into your armory for the final fight
Come at me, Spider-Bro
(Improvise with household items if necessary)
And of course you’re still freaked…
10. Show that spider who is boss and rage on it!
11. Throw it in the toilet, flush it, AND NEVER LOOK BACK
“ITS ALL GONE, HUMAN?”
12. Grab your feline friend and celebrate your victory over the Spider Intruder
But stay frosty, Kitty Fett…
Because next time its all YOU!
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