Beards: A Chronological Hairstory

Because man buns don't deserve all our attention.

Look, beards!

Getty Images

Getty Images

Getty Images

15th Century BC—Queen Hatshepsut

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This kick-ass queen of Ancient Egypt was depicted with a false beard.

5th Century BC—Pheidas

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In Ancient Greece, cutting off another man's beard was a punishable crime. As it should be.

10th Century AD—Otto the Great

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Holy Roman Emperor Otto the Great swore by his beard when he was being for real serious.

12th-13th Century—Genghis Khan

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Most descriptions of Genghis Khan include a long, bushy beard.

16th Century—John Knox

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The Scottish clergyman and leader of the protestant reformation in Scotland also reformed awesome chin hair.

Early 18th Century—Blackbeard

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Dude twined lit fuses in his hair to look more fearsome. He didn't need to.

Early 19th Century—James "Grizzly" Adams

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In addition to having glorious facial hair, Adams named his bear Benjamin Franklin. Your argument is invalid.

1856—Uncle Sam

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Though Uncle Sam was "born" in 1813, he didn't have his iconic beard until 1856.

1860—Abraham Lincoln

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An 11-year-old girl wrote Lincoln a letter suggesting that he grow a beard for the presidential election. Days after the election, he did, and he became the first fully bearded president.

Charles Darwin

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Darwin theorized that beards were a result of sexual selection, since women would find men with beards more attractive. Of course he did.

Leo Tolstoy

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Because you need to stay warm in the cold Russian winters and look good.

1943—Yosemite Sam

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Although Yosemite Sam wore many hats (prospector, Viking, prison guard, pirate), you could always count on his forked red beard.

1955—Wooly Willy

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It's the perfect training tool to encourage young 'uns into the way of the beard.

1957—Ernest Hemingway

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Hemingway's iconic face hair has even inspired an annual look-alike contest.

Late 1970s—Dusty Hill and Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top

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"Cause every girl's crazy 'bout a bearded man."

1986—Brian Blessed as King Yrcanos in Doctor Who

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Pretty much Brian Blessed in anything.

2000—Tom Hanks as Chuck Noland in Cast Away

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Losing Wilson is just about as sad as Chuck shaving his beard by the end of the movie.

2009—Zach Galifianakis as Alan Garner in The Hangover

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Shake it out, Zach, like the one-man wolf pack you are.

October 2011—Henry Cavill

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Some Superman fans complained about a bearded Man of Steel.

Others did not. For obvious reasons.

March 2013—Tormund Giantsbade from Game of Thrones

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Bonus points for ginger offset by snow.

May 2013—John Krasinski

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It's Jim Halpert.... with scruff!

November 2013—Zayn Malik

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So young, but so bearded.

March 2014—Michael Fassbender

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You can only be this happy when you have a beard.

June 2014—Joe Manganiello

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Side effects of seeing salt and pepper facial hair may include thirst.

August 2014—Jon Hamm

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Fun fact: Jon Hamm has to shave three times a day when filming Mad Men. No wonder he always looks so angsty in that show.

September 2014—Tom Hardy

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Bearded AND HOLDING A DOG.

September 2014—Idris Elba

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Just yes.

October 2014—Ryan Reynolds

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Preparing for fatherhood, therefore beard.