1. You’ve said goodbye to all your college friends
I’ve never felt such a strange combination of pity and indigestion.
2. And suddenly nothing in life makes sense anymore
Because screw logic!
3. You’re out on your own and trying to make it in the “real world”
4. But you still don’t really know what the hell you’re doing
5. You get your first post-grad paycheck
I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m ready for me money.
6. But fancy living is hard with all those student loans
Wait! Don’t shoot! Okay, okay, shoot me, but don’t take me money!
9. Whether you’re hired for your first “grown-up” job…
They like me! They really like me!
12. You’ve forgotten how to meet people outside of campus
Hello, I’m Mr. Krabs, and I like money.
13. And you try to resist your parents’ unsolicited advice
What’s with all this change nonsense??
14. But the only thing that makes you feel better is reuniting with old friends
Three cheers for feeling sorry for ourselves!
But don’t sweat it, because you’re Eugene H. Krabs, and you’re awesome.
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