14 Ways Recent Grads Are Actually Mr. Krabs

How post-grad life has turned you into a cheap, nostalgic old crustacean.

1. You’ve said goodbye to all your college friends

I’ve never felt such a strange combination of pity and indigestion.

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2. And suddenly nothing in life makes sense anymore

Because screw logic!

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3. You’re out on your own and trying to make it in the “real world”


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4. But you still don’t really know what the hell you’re doing

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5. You get your first post-grad paycheck

I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m ready for me money.

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6. But fancy living is hard with all those student loans

Wait! Don’t shoot! Okay, okay, shoot me, but don’t take me money!

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7. Life at home isn’t as fun as you remembered

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8. And you feel surprisingly old when hearing college freshman talk about starting school

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9. Whether you’re hired for your first “grown-up” job…

They like me! They really like me!

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10. …Or not…

I was the head chef on the S.S. Diarrhea.

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11. Either way, you’re already reminiscing about your college days

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12. You’ve forgotten how to meet people outside of campus

Hello, I’m Mr. Krabs, and I like money.

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13. And you try to resist your parents’ unsolicited advice

What’s with all this change nonsense??

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14. But the only thing that makes you feel better is reuniting with old friends

Three cheers for feeling sorry for ourselves!

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So what’s the secret to success after college?

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Who knows? All you can do is work hard and hang in there

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But don’t sweat it, because you’re Eugene H. Krabs, and you’re awesome.

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