5 Musicians Whiter Than Michael Jackson

Whether this refers to general disposition or actual skin color, it’s pretty tough to beat the King of Pop.

5. Morrissey

 

The fact that he’s considered an innovator of “indie music” is enough to make my hyperactive vegetarian bowels go into overdrive.

4. Taylor Swift

 

If she named her child Blue Ivy, it would break up with her.

3. Gene Simmons

 

Makeup not necessary to get the point across.

2. Jack White

 

“White Blood Cells” was an autobiography of sorts. Also, googling “white Jack White” is counterproductive.

1. Michael Jackson (Black)

 

Can you say “Wannabe lead in Newsies?”

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