5 Musicians Whiter Than Michael Jackson

Whether this refers to general disposition or actual skin color, it’s pretty tough to beat the King of Pop.

5. Morrissey


The fact that he’s considered an innovator of “indie music” is enough to make my hyperactive vegetarian bowels go into overdrive.

4. Taylor Swift


If she named her child Blue Ivy, it would break up with her.

3. Gene Simmons


Makeup not necessary to get the point across.

2. Jack White


“White Blood Cells” was an autobiography of sorts. Also, googling “white Jack White” is counterproductive.

1. Michael Jackson (Black)


Can you say “Wannabe lead in Newsies?”

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