You knew that the real way to get what you wanted was to go through their secretary.
Your living room was filled with books that they never even read.
They wrote everything down on nasty yellow legal paper.
And then left their notes all over the freaking house.
You aren't sure what color their desk was because it was always covered in deposition paperwork.
You missed one day of homework and they were all over you about you not being able to get into law school.
But it's nothing compared to when you made the mistake of telling them you weren't sure you even wanted to go.
It's like they were tested on their "we're disappointed in you" look when they went to pass the bar.
You always have to plan out your discussion ahead of time.
Or fighting with them becomes actually impossible.
And good luck getting them to do anything they don't feel like doing.
They always looked at every situations from all angles. Even the one that makes you look bad.
Because a good person *cough lawyer cough* always looks at situations from multiple points of views.
All formal complaints had to be in the form of a letter.
You could never accuse them of anything (even if you were right).
"I told you so" was a normal answer.
They often explained things to you using weird unhelpful charts or confusing logic puzzles.
They did teach you some helpful stuff though. Like that you can get something out of every relationship.
And that lying will just make everything worse.
And when you show them this list, they'll object to everything on it.
But lucky for you, they taught you to always stand up for yourself.
