1. 1) Nailed an internship!!
Way to go! You managed to survive the internship Hunger Games to nab a highly coveted internship position! Who cares if it’s not paid?
2. 2) It won’t be so bad!
Your savings can hold you over for a while, and in the meantime, you’ll look for a second job.
4. 4) When people ask you what you do, you smile and cheerfully say, “I intern at *insert company that owns you*!”
You quickly start realizing that working and surviving are two very different things.
5. 5) “How do you like it?”
It’s terrific! I mean, you’re not paid, but that’s okay because you didn’t need to eat anyway. It’s fine. It’s all fine.
6. 6) Let me incessantly check my bank account to see if I magically got more money.
Guess what?! I didn’t.
7. 7) It’ll be okay.
You’re young. This is a good experience. Everything will be okay.
8. 8) I’ll start looking for a part-time job.
Hmm… maybe retail? Bar-tending?
9. 9) What do you mean this is $10?? No way, man, I can’t afford that.
You’re getting to the point where $10 for anything is a luxury. Better stick with the instant noodles.
10. 10) Should I eat, or should I do laundry?
Wait, you can’t afford alcohol either.
11. 11) I’m so fucking poor.
I hear the organs trade is pretty lucrative… You have two kidneys for a reason!
12. 12) It. Will. Be. Okay.
Just keep telling yourself that as you internally scream.
13. 13) On a good day, I love my office!
Everything is great! The people are great! I love getting coffee for them!! Wow, I feel like I’m part of something big!!
14. 14) On most other days, I fucking hate this place.
Everything sucks, and nobody acknowledges your existence.
18. 18) I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore.
Was this position even vaguely related to what you want to do with the rest of your life? Or is it just helping you understand what you really don’t want to do?
19. 19) If I don’t get paid, do I really have to go into the office today?
It gets harder and harder to find the motivation to actually make it look like you care.
20. 20) How do I phrase “Office Bitch” to make it sound more professional?
Just so you can, you know, put it on your resume for your next unpaid position.
22. 22) This is a really valuable learning experience…in the art of survival.
You can make a lot of different foods in a coffee maker. If you just make everything in the coffee pot, you cut down on having to buy plates and bowls and other adult things.
23. 23) I’m at this point in my life where I’m just grateful I could get anything at all.
The saddest yet truest statement ever. If interns are good at anything, it’s having no illusions about employment prospects.
24. 24) Wait…if I busted my ass this hard trying to get an unpaid position, what the hell am I going to have to do for a paid one??
25. At least Bill Murray is telling people not to shoot us. That counts for something…right?
It’s tough, but just like the millions of interns before you, you’ll be okay. Best of luck!