1.
If Ariel got legs only to discover her feet were deformed and mangled:
2.
If Simba was just THROWN off Pride Rock like a piece of trash:
3.
If Ariel's shining moment was ruined by a crashing wave:
4.
If Cinderella took a big poop while leaving the castle (why else was she in such a hurry?!)
5.
If the fairy godmother accidentally blew up Cinderella's head:
6.
...and also if she was a kinky old lady:
7.
If Alice was on coke the whole time:
8.
If the pasta came from another dog's butt:
9.
If Belle stepped on a land mine while running through the French hillside:
10.
If Ariel and Ursula had each other's faces:
11.
...or Simba and Scar:
12.
If the magic carpet was a bomb:
13.
If Rabbit had seriously impaled Pooh while trying to help him:
14.
If this is actually what "hakuna matata" meant:
15.
If Snow White's head imploded while serenading animals:
16.
If the ice Bambi slipped on was actually a killer whale trap:
17.
And if Belle was actually Nigel Thornerry: