1. Playing the trumpet.
YOU SUCK AT THE TRUMPET, BUT BEARS ARE AWESOME AT THE TRUMPET.
2. Conga lines.
You are always too drunk and your conga lines stink. Bears RULE at conga lines.
3. Taking out the trash.
When’s the last time you took out the trash? Bears are amazing at the removal of trash and organization of dumpsters.
5. Hollerin’ at your boy.
“GET IN LOSER, WE’RE GOING SHOPPING.”
6. Dancing alone in the woods.
You’ve probably never even danced alone in the woods.
You can’t even hula hoop for a SECOND. LOOK AT YOUR LIFE.
You are SHIT at walking, probably always tripping and stuff.
12. Jump roping.
Maybe you don’t suck at jump-roping, but you definitely don’t look this adorable while doing it. Not even you little Peggy-sue.
14. Dissin’ your friend.
TALK TO THE HAND MOFO.
15. Opening lunch boxes.
I bet you open it in just one try which is LAME.
Do you even know how to wave? Probably not.
- The family of Sandra Bland, who died in a Texas jail cell in July three days after she was detained during a traffic stop, filed a wrongful death lawsuit in federal court.
- Migrant deaths in the Mediterranean have exceeded 2,000, making 2015 the deadliest year for people trying to reach Europe, according to the International Organization for Migration.
- Fox News has announced the 10 Republican candidates who will participate in the first debate of the 2016 U.S. presidential race on Thursday.