The Official Ranking Of The 16 Hottest Stars

You might want to give yourself some alone time before you read this post. posted on

16. Regulus

Look, we’ve all seen stars that look like regulus, because there are a lot of stars that look just like regulus…because there are a lot of stars in the sky. Regulus is just regular….they should call it reguluser.

15. Bellatrix

Look familiar? Well it should. You might recognize this beauty from the sky. It looks good, but we’ve seen better.

14. Achemar

Achemar. Oh sorry did you just sneeze? Because you should be blessed.

13. Vega

WELL HELLO THERE you hispanic beauty.

12. Rigel

Rigel’s beach bod is a sight to be seen. He matters, because he is MADE OF MATTER.

11. Dubhe

DUBHE-vous coucher avec moi, CE SOIR?

10. Beta Centauri

Beta is an understatement. If we had it our way, this star would be an alpha.

9. Adhara

This star is hard to miss. Well actually it’s pretty easy to miss because there are so many fucking stars. BUT STILL, have you seen this star’s chiseled abs??

8. Spica

Spica the devil…have you seen her in a halter top?

7. Wolf 424a

PURRRRRRRRRRRR. Don’t be afraid of the wolf. His hairy and hard exterior is matched by his sensitive and charming insides… of which we’ve heard there’s plenty of ;)

6. Barnard’s star

THINGS ARE HEATING UP. Barnard, more like take me to the BARN YARD with this star because this star is a sexy animal.

5. James Franco

Mike Marsland / WireImage / Getty Images

With a body temperature of 371.85 degrees Kelvin, he’s average when it comes to heat. You might know him from Spiderman and Spiderman 2.

4. 61 Cygni A

We have just one question: Does the carpet match the planet of the drapes?

3. Crucis B

The temperatures are rising and Crucis B is a tall drink of water to quench your thirst. Does the B stand for banging? YES IT DOES.

2. Crucis A

Crucis A is Crucis B’s hotter (hard to imagine!) older brother. With a few more tattoos and degrees kelvin, he’s hard to resist.

1. The Sun

You knew how this was going to end. You know the sun. You love the sun. Who loves the sun? YOU love the sun. It’s flaring. It’s smoking. It’s the girl next door, it’s the boy of your dreams. It’s the one you want to be with forever. The one to bring home to mom and dad. Your mate. Just don’t stare at it too long or IT’LL BURN YOUR EYES OUT.

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