The Official Ranking Of The 51 Hottest Jewish Men In Hollywood

They may not be a doctor or a lawyer, but they can play one on TV! All men given a stamp of approval by a rabbi* (*the rabbi being me and not an actual rabbi). posted on

51. Adam Sandler

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Funny guys are hot, and has anyone else written an entire song about Hanukkah? NO, HE GETS A SPOT.

50. Seth Rogen

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I just said funny guys are hot.

49. Mandy Patinkin

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Hi. Look at that beard. He deserves the No. 49 spot more than anyone else on the planet. Like, he is probably No. 49 in life of all hot Jewish men.

48. Craig David

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He’s British AND Jewish. The perfect combination of ISHES.

47. Steven Weber

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We are only at No. 47, guys. RELAX.

46. Daniel Radcliffe

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ALOHOMORA! That is a spell that unlocks things, but it’s also me saying, ALOHA, I WANT MORE-A.

45. Jack Antonoff

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A Jewish guy with a Mohawk? Now that’s hawt.

44. Daniel Day-Lewis

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YEP, ON THIS LIST.

43. Hank Azaria

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YEP, ALSO ON THIS LIST.

42. Andy Cohen

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Watch What Happens Live…at the reception for the Bat Mitzvah, am I right???

41. Joaquin Phoenix

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Joaquin in a winter wonderland with this hottie. Wink wink, nudge nudge

40. Scott Mechlowicz

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You know how your family wants you to marry a “nice Jewish boy”? THIS IS HIM. CONGRATS!

39. David Duchovny

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He’s probably smiling because the matzoh he just ate was amazing and he’s really happy about it.

38. Scott Caan

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A Jewish boy with blonde hair and blue eyes, it’s a beautiful thing to behold.

37. Jon Stewart

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HOW AMAZING WOULD THIS SILVER HAIR LOOK IN A YARMULKE?

36. Sacha Baron Cohen

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Sacha Baron Cohen as Sacha Baron Cohen is actually not bad. Not bad at all.

35. Logan Lerman

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Remember when he was 13 and turned into a man, and now he’s 21 and he’s even manlier? That was cool.

34. Mark Feuerstein

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Doesn’t he always look so tan? It’s great that he always looks so tan.

33. Justin Kirk

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KID TESTED, MOM APPROVED.

32. Justin Bartha

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KID TESTED, MOM AND GRANDMA APPROVED.

31. Josh Radnor

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KID TESTED, MOM, GRANDMA, AND GREAT-GRANDMA APPROVED.

30. Lenny Kravitz

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Are you starting to schvitz? It’s GETTING HOT IN HERE.

29. Josh Charles

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YUP, FULL ON JUST SWEATED THROUGH MY SHIRT.

28. Zach Braff

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SERIOUSLY, GOTTA CHANGE MY SHIRT CAUSE IT GOT SO HOT IN HERE.

27. Adrien Brody

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He’s the Jewish Snoop Dogg. It’s a total slam dunk, home run, everything is awesome.

26. Noah Wyle

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SHALOM TO YOU, NOAH WYLE. SHALOM AGAIN.

25. Ben Stiller

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What he’s lacking in height he makes up for in looking REALLY GOOD IN GLASSES.

24. Ben Foster

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SORRY, WHAT? JUST WAS LOOKING AT THAT CHEST HAIR PEEKING OUT. LET’S MOVE ON.

23. Andy Samberg

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Remember when I said funny guys are hot? I was serious.

22. Skylar Astin

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HEY SKYLAR, CHALLAH AT ME. LOLOLOLOL.

21. Jason Segal

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He’s over 6 foot — ENOUGH SAID.

20. Eric Dane

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More like GREAT Dane. Like the dog.

19. Michael Vartan

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No this isn’t Noah Wyle again, but don’t they look alike? Anyway, he’s made the top 25, GOOD FOR HIM!

18. Max Greenfield

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LOOK AT THAT PUNIM. (That translates from Yiddish directly to “sexy and stubbly face with thick eyebrows.”)

17. James Wolk

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If you could see his tuches you’d probably be like, WHOAAAA now that’s a tuches. (What i’m saying is he probably has a nice butt.)

16. Jeff Goldblum

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The reason you dress nicely for temple is because you may run into Jeff Goldblum at services.

15. Paul Rudd

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10/10 would run away with him to go live on a kibbutz.

14. Shia LaBeouf

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Shia LaBeouf? More like Shia L’CHAIM. TO LIFE. TO SHIA. TO LIFE WITH SHIA.

13. Jason Schwartzman

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After first date “MOM, DAD, I FOUND THE ONE.”

12. Joshua Bowman

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I literally don’t even care that the sleeves on his jacket are the weirdest thing ever he is FLAWLESS.

11. Gabriel Macht

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Your kids would literally be the best-looking children in Hebrew school.

10. Joseph Gordon-Levitt

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We’ve now entered the top 10 zone. Things are getting serious.

9. Adam Levine

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Just needs a long-sleeve shirt to wear around the relatives and everything is totally cool, just a perfectly flawless face at the other end of the seder table.

8. Andrew Garfield

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One hyphenated word: SPIDER-MAN. ANOTHER TWO WORDS: skintight costume.

7. Dave Franco

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Are you seeing those eyebrows? LOOK CLOSER. THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL AND LUSCIOUS.

6. Ben Barnes

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SLKDJGNSASKJGNSDFLKJGN. This man was literally chosen by God to be perfect.

5. Jake Gyllenhaal

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Did he just come in some perfectly wrapped paper BECAUSE HE IS A GIFT TO US ALL.

4. James Franco

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You gaze at each other during Shabbat and realize you don’t need electricity as long as you have each other.

3. Liev Schreiber

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WHERE TO BEGIN WITH THIS BEAUTY. I’ll begin with his manly nose and his manly facial hair and just overall manly perfection.

2. Bryan Greenberg

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THIS PERFECTLY FORMED HUMAN IS ALSO A READER OF THE TORAH AND OMG COULD IT GET SEXIER? LOOK HE IS PRAYING IN THIS VERY PIC.

1. Adam Brody

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BARUCH HASHEM FOR ADAM BRODY. If there was a trophy for best Jewish boy in the world it would be sitting on his mantel right next to his Menorah. Amen.

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