1. Meet Alexander:
2. His last name is KOCH. It’s pronounced COKE. Like, oh, “I’d love an Alexander Koch-A-Cola.”
3. It’s important to know who he is because he is very wonderful looking.
4. It’s like someone put the DNA of Adam Brody and Andy Samberg in a dish and mixed them together.
5. And then this specimen raised up out of it and was like I’VE ARRIVED.
6. Have you seen his worry face?
7. BECAUSE IT’S ADORABLE.
9. And also the upper region of his chest area:
10. And his hair too.
11. Like, look how freaking messy and CUTE that floppy hair is.
12. He does this sexy thing where he puts his hand behind his head and stares into your soul:
13. And this other thing where he turns to the side and is all, “Look at my perfect stubble.”
15. And so is the area right below his chin that is really highlighted from this angle:
16. If you were wondering if he could pull off having one of his eyes covered with some of his hair, then the answer is YES.
17. So even though on TV he plays some creepy scary dude that winks at you like a creepy scary dude…
19. The End.
Photos, unless otherwise sourced, courtesy of Alexander Koch.
- With head clerk Kim Davis jailed, Rowan County issued several marriage licenses to same-sex couples today. ›