Once upon a time in a dark, dark world (the year 2003) David Beckham wore these pants.
Whose crotch is longer than a footlong sub.
Whose pants have stray seams all over the legs.
Whose cuffs are flowing over his shoes like a flooded river.
IT WAS MADNESS. IT WAS A SAD TIME FOR EVERYONE.
He felt so bad about the pants he offered someone roses to apologize for them.
But they can't be forgiven.