How To Dress For The Airport, By Lady Gaga

It’s summer, so you might be going on vacation soon. Don’t look like a fool at the airport, follow Lady Gaga’s rules and you’ll look perfect for flying.

1. Wear a hat with a window in it.

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So that if you have an aisle seat, you can still look out of something.

2. Wear a beehive on your head

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Perfect for hiding liquids!

3. Wear pants that will let your legs breathe

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It gets hot in those cabins.

4. Wear a ball gown.

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Flying is fancy, dress as such.

5. Wear 3D glasses.

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All the better to watch inflight movies with.

6. Wear a mask

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It’s very likely everyone else on the flight will also be wearing masks and then you’ll have a masquerade ball in the air.

7. Wear Neon green and a giant weave

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To blend in with the crowd.

8. Wear a full leather ensemble with a bow in your hair.

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Again, for blending in.

9. Wear a mosquito net around your face

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So that the bugs on the airplane don’t bother you.

10. Wear a ballerina skirt

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Sooooooooo pretttyyy.

11. Wear 10 inch heels

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They still leave you with 20 inches of legroom!

12. Wear a winged-sailor dress

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IDK WHY.

13. Wear your hair in a giant rainbow side ponytail

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TSA loves giant rainbow side pony tails!

14. Wear a large potato sack with words on it

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Perfect for smuggling potatoes through borders.

15. Wear all green

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Green goes great with sky blue.

16. Wear soda can hair rollers

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Regular hair rollers are for people who drive in cars.

17. Only wear a jacket

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They give out pants on most Delta flights.

18. Wear a caution tape dress

Beware: flying awesomely!

19. Wear this ensemble

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No pat down necessary here.

20. Wear see through stockings and flip the bird

That’s how you get through security.

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