31 Inanimate Objects With Secret Inner Lives

Anthropomorphic fun.

1. These boxes are quietly plotting something diabolical.

ID: 1093857

2. This tap is thinking back to a time long ago, before the weight of the world crushed its spirit.

ID: 1093911

3. This gherkin is leading a life of quiet desperation.

ID: 1093912

4. This hinge is fascinated by your long and meandering anecdote. No, really, do go on.

By kelbel427.

ID: 1093880

5. This kayak is very right-wing and feels permanently outraged by society.

ID: 1093868

6. This telescope is actually not very impressed with the view. The “woo” is sarcastic.

ID: 1093872

7. This clip is up for some mischief if you are.

ID: 1093856

8. This barbecue is fine out here in the cold. No really. Just pretend it doesn’t exist. See if it cares.

ID: 1093920

9. This tree is putting a brave face on things, but god knows there isn’t much to smile about, what with everything that’s been in the news.

ID: 1093923

10. These slippers are just bloody livid.

ID: 1094900

11. Despite appearances this pair of binoculars is dying on the inside. So desperately lonely.

ID: 1093893

12. This chimney just doesn’t know anymore.

ID: 1093891

13. This bit of rusting metal has indeed been working out lately, and is glad you noticed.

ID: 1093892

14. These boats have just come into some money by underhand means, and are feeling pretty smug about it.

ID: 1093876

15. These chairs are racists. You do not want to hear the joke they’re laughing at.

ID: 1093869

16. This disconsolate house doesn’t even remember what it was like to be in a good mood.

ID: 1093894

17. This clock tower has seen things you wouldn’t believe.

By Jim Waddington.

ID: 1093895

18. This post is pleased to see you again, but secretly wonders if you’ll have anything left in common. So much has changed.

By Doubletaker.

ID: 1093897

19. This tree just remembered that embarrassing thing it did at the office party, and is now consumed by silent horror.

By Steve Maskell.

ID: 1093898

20. This geeky coat hanger has a really interesting theory about Quantum Leap he wants to share with you, if you’ll only stay a while. Please.

By danilovando52.

ID: 1093899

21. This judgmental handbag disapproves of your lifestyle.

ID: 1093900

22. This camp house has some catty gossip to impart.

By Bertie Roper.

ID: 1093901

23. This ticket machine wonders if there’s anything left to believe in.

By phatcontroller.

ID: 1093902

24. This box’s life has been on the slide, ever since you left. Sometimes it wonders why it even carries on anymore.

ID: 1093907

25. This brick facade wants to cut you in on a deal, but keep it on the down-low, OK?

ID: 1093908

26. This phone has an extremely high opinion of itself.

ID: 1093914

27. This mop, while secretly posh and supported by a trustfund, likes to think of itself as a hippy dropout.

ID: 1093913

28. Let’s be honest. These plugs are simpletons. Nothing much going on in their heads at all.

ID: 1093915

29. This ladder sometimes goes to scream, but nothing comes out. It’s the strangest thing.

ID: 1093903

30. This pepper doesn’t want to die. Not now. Not like this.

ID: 1093922

31. This bit of tupperware is terrified by what lies ahead.

By PirateT.

ID: 1093909

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Luke Lewis is the executive editor of BuzzFeed UK and is based in London.
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