23 Truly Terrible Sex Tips

Courtesy of Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health, and more. Reasonably NSFW, as you might expect.

1. Eat yogurt. It seems to work for mice.

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2. Introduce doughnuts into your lovemaking.

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3. Use your teeth.

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4. Make him sneeze.

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5. Have sex immediately after practicing yoga.

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6. Attempt an intimate Chinese burn.

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7. If he touches his belt, he definitely wants you.

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8. Men, cover your eyes. She’ll thank you for it.

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9. Embrace the erotic potential of insect repellent.

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10. Scarf down caviar.

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11. Create a natural “bull’s-eye” effect.

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12. “Like you’re milking a cow.”

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13. “Like you’re opening a jar.”

Cosmopolitan, Issue 99. / Via thefrisky.com
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15. Douse his face in booze.

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16. “Dice in a cup.”

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17. Get creative in the kitchen.

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18. Speaking of which…

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19. Indulge in unconvincing dirty talk.

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20. Failing that, make sure a horror film is playing in the background.

That’ll really set the scene.

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21. Go ahead, ruin your bedsheets.

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22. Ladies, why not set your man this baffling test?

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23. “Volleying a tennis ball.”

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Luke Lewis is the executive editor of BuzzFeed UK and is based in London.
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